RHONJ Recap – Leopard Is The New Black!

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Image Source: Bravo

Image Source: Bravo

Put on your finest leopard print – it’s time to head back to Jersey!

We start out with all of the ‘wives waking up their beautiful families; however I’m still suspicious how all the ladies wake up with good hair.

Teresa is busy with her four girls and Joe is taking advantage of his wife being home and is sleeping in. Teresa can’t even walk her girls to the bus due to her ankle bracelet and Joe can’t be bothered to escort the girls to the bus. Note to Joe – get your lazy butt up and help out your wife! Melissa is having similar troubles as her hubby Joe can’t be bothered to help out as she is opening her boutique. What is with the Gorga/Giudice men??

Over at the Laurita house Jacqueline is doing what she does best – obsessing over Teresa! Her husband Chris has had enough of it and finally convinces Jac to talk to Tre instead of him. How is Chris supposed to decipher a note??

Teresa admits that she is angry at her husband as she had no idea what was going on with the finances. She is probably right that most women would have probably left their husbands; however as she is old school she is sticking by Joe. Teresa is trying to whip Joe into shape by encouraging him to go to yoga; however luckily he is saved by a surprise visit from Jacqueline. Their reunion starts out awkward; however eventually the ladies find their groove when Teresa admits she is ready to forgive. I have to admit for a split second I was nostalgic for the first few seasons when the two were friends and there was no obsession or back stabbing going on.

We also find out that Nicholas is doing much better and is now reading but still has a way to go. Autism is a journey – not a destination and I’m sure many moms can relate to Jacqueline’s story. Teresa shows off her new sexual positions that she learned in “camp” (actually they were yoga poses but we find out that Joe is enjoying them so tomato/tomato!)

Over at envy, Melissa is butting heads with her partner as the two have very different styles. Melissa wants her store to look like “Melissa Gorga’s closet” but Jackie wants some diversity. Jackie is pushing an ugly outfit that reminded me of what Shelly Long wore in Troop Beverly Hills. Sorry Jackie – I’m with Melissa on this one!

Across town Siggy is helping Dolores with envisioning her dream home. The friendship between Dolores and Siggy is genuine and I love how there are no fake introductions (like with some of the other housewives shows.) Jacqueline joins the party and the ladies decide it’s time for wine. Jacqueline reveals that she and Teresa plan on rebuilding their friendship which delights Dolores as she is friends with both women.

Melissa stops by Teresa’s so that the children can have some cousin time and the moms can talk. Melissa is gripping that Joe isn’t helping with the kids; however Teresa defends her brother and tells Melissa she should be grateful that her husband works. Jacqueline comes up in the conersation and Melissa is skeptical on how long their truce will last (us too Melissa!)

Over to the Catania family and I have to admit I’m a bit obsessed with them. Dolores reveals she grew up in a very traditional Italian neighborhood and divorce was something that was unheard of. In fact prison was less of a scandal than a divorce. She did get two beautiful children from her marriage and both are good looking and seem wonderful. I think it’s great that Dolores and her husband are civil for their children and can all eat together as a family. I’m hungry just looking at their delicious food and I’m hoping for an invite to the Catania table some time (hint hint!)

The Sig is driving over to meet Teresa to plan Dolores’s party. Siggy admits she is nervous about meeting Teresa; however believes they have a lot in common as both are old school. Siggy is a whirlwind (even for Teresa) and we find out where her tagline comes from! The ladies decide on a leopard theme for the party because really – who doesn’t own leopard in Jersey? I think Teresa and Siggy do have a lot in common and I can see them being genuine friends.

The ladies are prepping for the birthday bash and Dolores is looking hot in red! The other ladies are accented in leopard and I’m kinda jealous I wasn’t invited to this party. Kathy enters and Teresa’s face says it all. Kathy and Rosie feel uncomfortable as they aren’t in a good place with Teresa; however Rosie is spot on when she says Teresa doesn’t hate her but doesn’t want to be bothered. Side note – I’m loving Rosie’s leopard tie and fedora look!

The ladies are having fun playing a game involving memories of Dolores. We find out that Joey Gorga had a crush on Dolores and she was known as “Teresa’s hot friend.” Next up is Tre and I love her but this was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen! Teresa is trying to tell about her time at “camp” but the fish story was too much. Melissa seemed very interested in it and at least all the ladies got a good laugh. Overall I think this was one of the most successful parties in housewives history – kudos Tre and Sig!

Melissa has a little too much sangria and Teresa has to drive her home. Melissa is slurring her words and Tre calls Joey to notify him that he has a drunk wife to look forward to. Melissa reveals that Melissa Gorga is cool but Melissa ‘mother f*cking’ Gorga’ comes out after a few drinks and is much cooler. Despite Melissa insulting Teresa’s driving the two are clearly in a better place and intend to keep it that way.

What were your thoughts on tonight’s episode? Let’s discuss!

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