The Real Housewives of New Jersey - RHONJ

RHONJ Recap: Teresa’s Mystery Man

Happy Cinco de Mayo Jersey fans! I hope everyone has a few shots of tequila in them in honor of today. If anyone could use a shot to chill out it’s Dolores Catania as she’s still pissed at the group for talking about her behind her back. So where do we begin tonight?

Well we are getting ready for Jackie’s birthday trip and hopefully it goes better than her husband’s. It’s not looking great as Dolores isn’t happy that Jackie and the girls were gossiping about her gorgeous car and fakes a doctor appointment to get out of riding with them. Meanwhile, Jennifer is trying to transform her house from Louis XIII’s palace to a modern Jersey McMansion. Unfortunately her interior decorating is interrupted as her mother calls to let her know she is upset with making her business the gossip of the entire town. As much as I like Jennifer, I’m on her mother’s side here. I come from an old school family and we don’t make our family business everyone’s business, so I completely understand where she is coming from.

Also dealing with family drama is Teresa and Joe Gorga who are having a disagreement amongst giant spiders and toy soldiers. Tre – rent a storage garage, this is hard to watch. Joey Gorga is thrilled that his sister found such a loving man and if she won’t admit that she’s in love, he is happy to do it for her. I understand that Tre doesn’t want to go completely public until she is 100% sure as she has four daughters that she is thinking of. From what we’ve heard about Louie on the gossip sites, perhaps she is wise to take things slow.

The day of Jackie’s party is here and the ladies are holding their ground that Dolores should be getting a ring and not a Porsche. Fortunately for Dolores, Teresa is the center of attention as everyone wants to know who her new mystery man is and is wondering if all this pineapple is worth it. Just when we think this will be a lighthearted brunch, Melissa gets a call from Joe who is in so much pain he is falling over. It’s suspected to be a kidney stone but Melissa can’t leave her man on his own so she’s skipping out on the winery. While Tre should be worried about her brother, she’s not missing out on a winery trip and is letting Melissa take care of it. Irony is in full force as after Joey gave David so much sh*t for working so many hours, Dolores sends them to Paterson hospital so that David can take care of him. Eat your words Joey.

Dolores is giving Joey a break as she can tell that he is clearly going through something between losing his parents and his issues with Melissa. Dolores instead redirects her anger to her group of girlfriends as they shouldn’t have been taking a poll about her relationship at a party. Team Dolores – she’s right on this one. Even if she does deserve a ring (which she does) her girlfriends shouldn’t be making a spectacle of it at a party in front of strangers. Jackie more than anyone should understand this after what she’s been through this season (maybe that’s why she did it?)

Back in Jersey, Joe and Melissa are recovering from Joe’s kidney stone and while both agree that David is phenomenal doctor he’s still not a great boyfriend. The conversation turns to Joe and his traditional (and outdated) views on men vs. women and the conversation turns to their marriage that needs to evolve in order for them both to be happy. Melissa is feeling unfulfilled as she misses work and needs to have some life outside the house and for some reason this is threatening to Joey. Her kids are grown, she’s still a great mom – let the girl live her life.

We are teased with the arrival of the mysterious Louie and while he comes with flowers and in a suit that’s really all we get. Until next time friends!

RHONJ airs Wednesday’s on Bravo.

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