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Tamra Barney Upset Gretchen Lied To Her, Thinks She Wanted All The Attention During Dress Shopping!


Tamra Barney is not very happy with Gretchen Rossi after this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County! After mending fences last season and putting their feud behind them, it seems that Gretchen is doing things that Tamra just is not going to let slide.

Back in February, Tamra told AllAboutTRH exclusively that some stuff happened during filming that reminded her of why she was not friends with Gretchen in the past, and it looks like we are finally at that point in the season. Tamra reveals in her Bravo blog:

Gretchen is claiming that I told her I did not want Alexis at my dress shopping day. Well there is a little truth to that, let me explain.

When I told Gretchen that Alexis was invited she instantly was pissed and said she didn’t want to go. She pleaded her case to me and I listened. I thought, “You know what Gretchen is right and Alexis should not be at my special day.” I told her that I would tell Alexis that she could not go so I could have Her there.

After sitting on it for a few days I started thinking. Wait, this is MY day NOT Gretchen’s and why am I letting her tell me who I could invite?

After all, I had made up with Alexis and was trying to move forward. Heather had made up with Alexis too, so if there was going to be any fighting it would be between Gretchen and Alexis — and Gretchen had told me she didn’t want any of that. Gretchen had no problem being around Alexis at the salsa party and even hugged Alexis goodbye. This was so confusing to me.

So after Gretchen realized I was not going to rescind the offer to Alexis she sent me a text (Plan 2) telling me that she was offered a role in the new Reba McEntire show. She called it Big Country (she didn’t even have the correct name) and would be filming all day Friday, the day we were at Mark Zinino’s store.

I told her, “Congrats. That’s wonderful and please don’t worry about me. The experience of being on your first sitcom was more important.” Basically I called her bluff without even knowing it.

Fast forward to the day before dress shopping, I get a text message from Gretchen that she is turning down the role to spend the day with me looking for a dress (which is ironic because she did not spend one second trying to help me find a dress. She was off to the side by herself). Regardless, at the time I thought she did a sweet thing.

When we picked Gretchen up I was a little shocked to see her in a bright red jacket with no dress on underneath (it was winter and raining) and with an engagement ring on her left ring finger. It screamed “everyone look at me.”

I have not seen her wear that ring in four years and she choose to wear it on the day I was looking at wedding dresses? Come on! I ignored it and tried to stay positive but Vicki on the other hand was thinking the same thing as me.

On to the big expose of Gretchen’s lie during lunch. Heather told the group that Gretchen had not been offered any role on Malibu Country, she was just part of a casting call for many reality TV stars. That’s when Tamra learned Gretchen had been lying! Tamra reflects:

Heather had told me she had some news to tell me at lunch. After she told me it all made sense. Gretchen lied to me! Gretchen had been telling Heather the same story about how she got this role and she would be filming on Friday but decided to give it up just to be with me. Heather being the professional did not tell G she had been cast on that show and that she knew there was no offer given to Gretchen — only a casting call that many reality stars were called for including Alexis. That was quickly abolished before interviews ever happened.

Honestly it breaks my heart that she would lie to me after I had just opened up to her. But what hurt me even worse is her text to me two days after dress shopping.

Basically, she texted me to tell me what a great friend she was to give up her first role on a sitcom to spend that important day with me.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her I knew she was lying. What was her point? Did she want to make me feel bad? Like I owed her something? I needed time to process everything and deal with it another day.

To this day I don’t understand her motive for not wanting to go dress shopping with us. What was the real reason why she didn’t want to go? You could tell my by her body language that she did not want to be there

Was it about Alexis or because it wasn’t about Gretchen?

Who to believe?! There is one thing that is true though – the reunion will not be pretty for Gretchen. Alexis, Tamra, Heather and Vicki will not be happy with her. And if Lydia is still upset about Slade’s comment, then Gretchen is basically on her own. Do you think Gretchen is a liar?

About the author


Roxanne Jajo created All About The Real Housewives in November, 2011, to keep fans up to date with all their Real Housewives news. Roxanne resides in Detroit, Michigan and works full time as a recruiter in the HR department at Quicken Loans. In December 2014, Roxanne came out with her first fictional novel, ‘Shattered Depiction. Roxanne works on the website on a daily basis in order to bring fans of the show the most exciting and captivating stories of all of their favorite (and not so favorite) reality TV stars. Roxanne is very thankful to all the readers and commenters who have continued to support the website.

Email Roxanne at | Phone: (248) 436-1663 Ext. 1 | "Write to Roxanne": Attn: Roxanne 3160 Ridgeway Ct. Commerce Twp., MI 48390


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  • Do you suppose Tamra will ever learn that she needs to think about things before going off half-cocked? This is NOT the first time Tamra has shot from the hip and then, after having a chance later to actually think about the issue rationally, regretted her words. Tamra! You said you want to change your behavior. Please learn about yourself from this. It’s a pattern. Learn to stop the freight train by saying: I need to think about this and get back to you because I’m not sure how I feel about this, or because I’m angry right now, or whatever the case is.

  • a.m.n. nurse2be The only thing I can think of is that Gretchen was miffed that Alexis wouldn’t let her into her room in Costa Rica after Gretchen didn’t have her back. Alexis was hurt and told her she just needed to be alone. Alexis did not scream at her or act mean to her. That’s it. All the venom spewing from Gretchen is totally crazy. Tamra is driving that bus.

  • I do think it is fake and scripted. Too many people are coming on social media talking about the men Eddie has dated – people that know Eddie. It is weird that they got married – but I guess for the fame and money – but that really irritates me about Tamra. Her kids – I mean – what mixed messages she sends. I do not like or trust Tamra, Gretchen, Lori – the most shady and greedy of that show – but I think they all are pathetic to do what they do on this show – be better role models for your kids!!!!!

  • It’s gonna be vicki, tamra, heather, Lydia, Alexis on one couch and the other Gretchen n lauri. Even tho lauri isn’t official, Gretch is gonna need all the back up she can find

  • You’re all talking about not believing the housewives… well falling right in line with that is the latest on what new-old housewife Laurie said about Brooks messing with one of her daughter’s friends… her daughter tweeted that the entire thing is a lie. She said she doesn’t have ANY friend who is a porn star, prostitute, etc. She goes on to say that the show is scripted and she’s tired of people “hiding behind their computer screens” judging them all. I guess she was getting a lot of flack about having a porn star as a friend.

    Anyway, I love how these housewives and any associated with them call people cowards for hiding behind their computer screens but in the next breath thank all “fans” who have supported them. Aren’t they hiding behind their computer screens too? Love how hypocritical these people are. They all go crazy trying to get as many followers as they can on social media, are obsessed with getting the highest numbers, yet when they say something they don’t like they are “cowards” hiding behind computer screens. They can’t have it both ways. How about they’re the cowards who put themselves out there but then can’t take the heat inevitably associated with it?

    • Forgot to say that Ashley, Laurie’s daughter, did end it with thanking all of her supporters. She tweeted it but also blogged about it. I’ll try to find it again.

      • I actually think it is George’s daughter, Danyka, who is friends with the young woman with the questionable career choice. She is 19 and Ashley is 30. Also, I saw a photo of Danyka with the word “CUNT” tattoo’d on the inside of her lower lip. Some people have far too much money for their own good.

  • Happy 4th everyone! ITA…I do.t like skinny minnie either and agree again she doesn’t fit in with the show. What I keep asking myself is why everyone is so hot to be friends with Tamara? She does look like she’s been ridden hard and put away wet….no class…back stabbed..lying bitch. I still find it hard to believe Eddie is REALLY going to marry her…she embarrasses herself…and him when they are out. I don’t believe her sob story. What I or who I just cannot stand is Madame! She claims to be so classy but is romping in the mud with all the other piglets. Speaking of pigs…Laurie??? Its time to cull the HWs and throw Minnie n Laurie OUT!

    Be safe, and don’t drive drunk, but enjoy the day!!!

    • Also, Tamra can’t embarrass herself if she’s not embarrassed about herself. She clearly isn’t embarrassed about who she is. Like her or not, she owns who she is.

  • I don’t think Lydia is fit for this show. She looks and frankly, behaves like a child and she’s trying too hard to appear aggressive at times and it’s just plain silly coming from her. The skinny girl needs to eat a hamburger was taken way out of proportion and frankly, Lydia came across as a nineteen year old having a hissy fit over nonsense. I don’t like Lydia.

    • One more issue I have with Lydia. She whines about her Mother smoking pot but she doesn’t whine when Mommy pays her bills. Her Mother lives off her father’s money (Lydia’s Grandfather)and that’s clear because her Mother clearly wouldn’t be able to smoke dope all day if it wasn’t for her own father. I have no respect for women like that. They are fortunate to be born into a life of wealth and they have the luxury of choosing a great education at any University in the WORLD and they choose to mooch and do drugs all day instead.
      And one more issue, Fuzz Bunnies? Really? I smoked pot a few times when I was younger and I never saw anything close to fuzz bunnies. I laughed…a lot, and ate…a lot. I didn’t see any fuzz bunnies. This tells me Lydia’s Mother is smoking more than just pot. She’s on LSD!

        • LOL! Aussie I do believe it is both of them. I like the mother! How do we know what she did in the past? She raised kids right/ Doesn’t Lydia have a brother or am I getting her mixed up with another hw. I know this is terribly shallow of me but I will say it anyway. Lydia is homely as hell to me and I don’t see anything pretty about her in the slightest. Those teeth of hers! She needs braces for that overbite and some filing done or something. I expect her to start braying like a donkey at any given moment. While she sees herself as the peace maker, she also likes to stir the pot. She always rats out the others if they say anything by telling the person they said it about. What the hell is up with that? She is strange as hell to me. Very strange and unappealing in her little girl voice and looks. Okay enough said Sandra Lee!

          • Yep. She’s got massive teeth. There’s enough enamel in there to put Limoges out of business.

            But I just wasn’t really sure if Rosalie Marie liked Lydia or not…couldn’t quite tell from her tone, could you 😉

        • Aussiegirl, I clearly wrote I do not like Lydia and I explained why. I also went on with another issue I had regarding Lydia’s whining about her mother’s drug problem/addiction. Does it really matter if I have an issue with Lydia’s mother as well as Lydia? Lydia complained that her Mother smoked dope her entire life but you see Lydia shopping with her dope induced, fairy dust sprinkling Mother yet you don’t hear Lydia complaining that her Mother just picked up the tab at the cash register. Again, does it matter if I am discussing Lydia or her Mother when the apple came from the tree?

          I’ll make it clear….
          I do not like Lydia. I do not like her drug dependent Mother who feels compelled to sprinkle her fairy dust on complete strangers without any regard to the strangers feelings. You don’t know what that fairy dust consists of. Maybe it is harmless glitter or maybe there’s dirty coke mixed in with the glitter or maybe it’s glitter with urine or perfume or, or, or? You have no clue what a drug addict is thinking. I wouldn’t trust some junkie to walk up to me and start sprinkling some strange substance in my hair. Perhaps you wouldn’t mind a junkie walking up to you and spraying pee in your hair Aussie…. oh, I mean ‘glitter’ but most people do mind.
          I Don’t Like Lydia or Her Mother. They Are Both Fairy Flakes. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Lydia is a housewife on the show who brought her drugged up Mother on. Both Need To Take A Flying Hike.

          Is this more clear to you Aussie or do you need me to slowwwwwww down so you can understand? IIIII Doooo Nnnnot Llllllike Lllllyyyydddddiiiahhhhh or her mmmmmmother.

    • I don’t think Lydia was upset about the remark as much as she was the way Slade did it. I agree with her. It’s completely rude to whisper a judgmental comment into someone’s ear about someone who is standing right there. If Slade actually wanted Lydia to hear that comment, he would have said it out loud instead of rudely hushing is up. Why treat it like a secret if he meant it as a compliment? It was wrong, extremely impolite which is typical of Slade. Would it have been okay if Lydia was overweight and he whispered a comment about her being a whale? Implying that someone is too skinny is no more a complement than implying someone is overweight.

      • It’s also completely classless for a man to snark on women’s appearances the way Slade does. It doesn’t matter if he is whispering to Gretchen or repeating something in the media as a “joke”, or saying it directly to Lydia. Unless the comment is “she looks beautiful”, then he should just STFU.

        Slade is just scum. He and Gretch deserve each other.

  • It’s also worth noting that one can’t agree to do a guest spot (and I mean an actual guest role, not just a general casting call) like Gretchen claimed and then just back out of filming at the last second to go wedding dress shopping. 1) even a guest role comes with a contractual agreement, and 2) it’s a good way to kill or damage a potential career like Gretchen is trying for. The consensus among producers being if someone can’t sbow up for a single guest spot, why bother hiring them for anything more? It’s not like actresses who ARE willing to work are scarce in H’wood.

    Gretchen isn’t even a smart liar.

    • i don’t think she or alexis were technically “offered” a role but the casting director or producer called to do an “availability check” which means they WERE interested, and if they were scheduled to be taping HW’s, they had to say, i might be taping that day but make an offer and i’ll commit.

      • It was Heather not Alexis and Heather did get the part. I’ve also heard that the pilot wasn’t picked up but didn’t investigate to confirm it. However, my question is if Heather was able to do both on the same day, why wasn’t Gretchen? Gretchen had no problem leaving for a “speaking engagement.” Also, the way Gretchen acted at the dress shop she might as well not even be there. She barely, if at all, associated with the others but stood alone at a distance.

        • alexis and gretchen were, too. it’s on the preview clip to next episode. alexis says they called her publicist, too.

          • Yes, Gretchen and Alexis received a request to participate in a casting call. What I was saying is that it’s pretty clear Gretchen was lying if she told Tamra she landed an actual guest spot on the show and pulled out at the last second to “help” Tamra. It’s bullshit. No aspiring actress is going to throw an entire production off just to help a friend…and if they did, their aspiring career would be dead in the water. H’wood isn’t that big, and word gets around.

            A casting call like Alexis described is different. Pretty much just appearing as an extra. No biggie.

  • I think Gretchen is the most conventionally beautiful of the OC women. She really does look like a Barbie/beauty queen. That impression, however, fades the moment she opens her mouth. It’s not even what she says, but the thin, nasal quality of her voice. Her voice is grating. Add to that the self-serving narcissism that is always on display, and no physical attributes can trump her overall negative impression.

    The next, I think is Alexis. Despite her store-bought boobs, she has a natural beauty, Her figure is more lush than the others. She’s much bigger than them, but fit and healthy. Her voice is warm and low, easy on the ears.

    Heather is pretty too, though a bit sharp-featured for my taste. I think you could slice tomatoes on her cheekbones. For me, she has the most pleasant and attractive voice of all the women. There is a timbre to her voice that makes it wonderful to hear. That is why she is an actress and Gretchen is not.

    Lyida’s voice is too thin and child-like but I value her lithe good looks and heathy self-image that accepts herself as she is.

    Vicki’s voice is pleasant enough. She older than the others and has a relatively formless face, bland, not memorable. She could rob banks and no one could describe what she looked like.

    Tamra is the least appealing. She looks hard and sounds hard. Her skin has been damaged by too much sun and while it’s not leathery, it’s a few years away. Despite her pampered life style, she looks like someone who has lived a hard life, a Grapes of Wrath kind of hardness.

    It’s funny, though, how their appearance and their characters seem to go together. It’s kind of shallow, I know, but that’s how I see them.

    • I like Heather and while I think she’s attractive, there’s something about her that’s scary. I mean, if she told me to shut up I would put tape over my mouth. She has a certain blank stare that sounds off warning bells.
      Tamra is a backstabber. She makes friends with Gretchen and clearly had a hand at turning Gretchen away from Alexis, than Tamra goes behind Gretchen’s back to make friends with Alexis. I clearly understand why Gretchen is upset with Tamra.
      I think the fighting between Vicki and Tamra was all faked. I think Tamra and Vicki planned a story between themselves hoping their dispute would explode into a big story like it did for Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel on RHNY.

    • omg did you see the casting tape of tamra? she looked sooooooooo white trash with flat steam ironed dry corn husk hair and nasty like brown teeth!!!!

  • Bullshit. Tamra is saying this shit now because she’s decided she doesn’t like Gretchen anymore. If they were still friends she wouldn’t have given a shit if she was wearing a red coat or a ring.

    All of these women are friggin head cases. Srsly. If they can’t find something to bitch about, they will invent something out of nothing. FFS.

    • I thought maybe she didn’t wear anything under the coat so she could try on wedding dresses of her own while she was there!! Ha! They are all just a bunch of loonie self absorbed borderline sociopaths. What is FFS for? Sorry don’t know that one!

  • I am thinking Tamra is onto something Gretchen wanted the attention…..Gretchen also did the same thing with Alexis last year about getting the same role that she was in so I do believe that she did not have this role and for some bizarre reason lied to them all saying she was filming? Who knows anymore with any of these HW’s cannot keep up with the LIES…lol!!!

  • So RUDE and TACKY to wear your dead fiancee’s engagement ring on the day your
    ‘best’ friend is going to try on wedding dresses. Its T’s day, not Gretch’s and for her to detract from that in any way is so rude and classless.
    Its about time for Gretch to have that ring reset or sell it. If you are going to wear it, you wear the ring on your right hand.
    Gretch came in with a big chip on her shoulder intent on not enjoying the day, sabotaging her own happiness, because she couldn’t get her way. AND then she left
    out into the cold and damp dreary night……but she wore her red trench coat, and black
    boa feathered 12 inch pumps.

    • SHe looked like Inspector Gadget. I swear this bat shit crazy bitch thinks everday is Halloween. Vicki was right she is always dressed in a costume,I just wish she would put something over her face I can’t stand looking at those over sized lips and her big bobble head swayign back and forth anymore and wish one of her cast mates would give her a punch to the throat so we don’t have to listen to her crack addicted monkey laugh anymore too.

      • Lol Jen! Why does she wear costumes all the time?! Did you see the OC special? She said that all her fashion choices have been “fabulous “. OMG this woman is delusional, she always looks like a low rent gypsy!

        • FABULOUS, she is NOT!!! DELUSIONAL, YES!!!Her tacky “costumes” she is always wearing look like she is up in that attic bedroom of hers with a sewing machine just sewing random pieces of cloth together then bedazzling that shit with glitter and maybe some of Lydia’s mothers fairy dust then she always ties the “costume” together with her cheap ass Gretchin Christine bags because she can’t afford a LV bag.

          • The flowers is her hair drive me crazy. I wonder what she really looks like under the hooker makeup & pageant hair?

          • Socal, I can’t stand the flowers she wears in her extensions! Its always the same color as her outfit. Matchy matchy ….ugh! Girl needs to hire a stylist STAT!

  • Thanks Trashy, Gretch’s outfit looked very sketchy for a business meeting and the shoes, definitely NOT business attire. I guess that would explain why she was the only
    one who did not take off their coat in the bridal salon. Too much exposure, perhaps.
    What type of business meeting were you attending, Gretch?!

  • Gretchen, Gretchen, Gretchen.

    You recommended Alexis for the show and instantly started a competition with her and when viewers started liking her, you launched the whole *she’s so Fake* attack against her, all the while, claiming you were being a good friend. You are truely not that. You aligned yourself with others to get Alexis excluded from every event and kicked off the show. (Wow, what girl wants a friend like that?) You use people, men and women, and you hide behind the illusion that you’re really a good person. I am not sure if it’s imaturity or a personality disorder but there is a wire not crossed right with you.

    The more I watch, the more lies I can see back on. Telling people your lip-plumping gloss made your lips fuller at Vickis dinner, when in fact, you had injections. Thats just one of many mis-truths you have told. You should own it and appologize, viewers might respect you abit more, but I highly doubt you would ever say sorry for anything.

    Enjoy that settlement you got from Jay, How sad that he told a truth and you cashed in on it. Bleh..

  • I never really saw Tamra and Howard the duck ever becoming real friends anyway. I know they say they have alot in common but I don’t see it. Gretchen is one slimey POS whore liar and likes to act like she is so proper but her white trash ways always come out. Tamra is funny and does say things that would make some people gasp but she is just being herself.

    • jen, I always compare Gretchen to Taylor on BV. Both similar white trash background and seemingly “shifty” if you know what I mean. Gretchen is even more of a slime ball though imo.

      • You’re right! They do seem similar and I bet they even use the same medical school drop out surgeon.

        • Taylor looks like she told whatever loser plastic surgeon she had to make her look like Julia Roberts. It didn’t work.

          Gretchen just wants to look (and dress) like Barbie.

  • Present the text for us all to see. I don’t believe any of these women, they are all shady!

    • Exactly cuz i thought the fight was because tamara kept saying she didnt invite alexis, production did. but then gretchen found out it was tamara who did so guess what they BOTH lie!

  • I actually thought Tamra was upset at Gretchen because she spread rumors last year about how Bravo offered & Eddie a free destination spot, and wanted her wedding special on Bravo. Gretchen and Slade apparently turned down the offer because those greedy asses wanted more money, so that’s when Bravo offered Tamra and Eddie their deal. When Tamra heard all these stories from Gretchen, she confronted Gretchen, and horsey laugh denied she ever said anything poorly about Tamra.

    Then, Tamra had the interview with Roxy, and there was tension just from reading what she said about Gretchen. I mean, what she said about Gretchen and haw she can’t sing was true, but it got worse from there.

    This is just based on what I’ve read in the past when Bravo’s offer to Tamra came through, and media outlets picked up on the exact same story.

      • isn’t it funny how Gretchen happens to turn down all these opportunities?! I’m especially not buying that she turned down a supposed “role” on a sitcom just to go watch tamra try on dresses. she will be crazy and stupid if she actually did that.

      • Gosh I had forgotten part of this story Isabella Patricia! I do remember the part about Slade and Gretchen wanting more money and getting turned down now that you have mentioned it! LOL! Old age and my memory is flat out gone! I don’t remember Tamra confronting Gretchen (horsey laugh! perfect description!) and Gretchen denying it but I have always seen Gretchen as a liar. What a self centered little twit! Of course they all are but she takes the cake. At least she could have acted pleased at the dress deal and been supportive of her so called friend. She is jealous it’s not all abut Slade (shuddering with the creeps now) and her wedding. I hope she is kicking herself in her boney ass for being so greedy in the first place as SHE would’ve been the featured bride.

    • This is driving me insane.
      I do believe that Fox 5, Malibu Show and other oppurtunities are offered to all or some, BUT WHY DOES GRETCHEN ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY SHE WAS OFFERED IT TOO?

  • Another fake storyline.
    I appreciate all the hard work Jose and AllAboutTRH puts in to this blog — BUT these fake story lines are so obvious.
    I read Gretchen’s blog this morning and still have a headache.

    • If of any of the HWs recently, I think this is the least fabricated. Gretchen is definitely someone that likes all of the attention on her and she probably realized early on in filming this season was going to be about Tamra’s wedding and she thought to herself “this could have all been about me and Slade,” so she got revengeful and started subtly doing things to get the attention back on her. I think the friendship between Tamra and Gretchen was forced (they will always just be in competition with one another) but now we see that falling apart, which I perceive to be real. I don’t think Tamra and Gretchen are friends in real life.

      Off topic, but with RHONJ, i think that is 100% fake. I don’t think Melissa and Caroline are friends, or Melissa and Jac, I think the Gorga’s/Guidices are fine and I’m sure the Melissa/Kathy relationship is exaggerated for the camera’s too.

      • Usually people that are on their second, third or fourth marriage just have a small
        intimate wedding with family. This is all
        such BS

        • Well the fact that she was pregnant the first two weddings, I can see someone living it up on the third. Afterall the first two must have been because of the pregnancy and that makes the third even more intimate. IMO I would probly do the same. However on the other hand I never would have gotten married just because I was pregnant, I would have waited just for the fact that I don’t always want to feel as if the pregnancy is why they married and not for love.

    • I still have 2 read Gretchen’s blog! Grechen U had no problem dumping on Lex last not play VICTIM again like seasons before.