RHOBH Recap: Life’s A Witch


kyle upset

So we meet again… We start this episode with Brandi bathing and getting a visit from her best friend Jennifer Giminez. She’s telling her friend how she’s going on a date with her on and off again boyfriend/realtor JR. Brandi pretty much says she used him for a house, and enjoyed playing house with him as well. Jennifer is trying to warn her about him, but Brandi likes having a man around. Joyce is with the winner of her pageant that she has founded “Queen of the Universe” and she is explaining how hard it is being in pageants and being considered “dumb.” Joyce is so cute and quirky. I really like her story about how she moved to LA because she saw the movie “Pretty Woman.” LOL I also like how she jokes about her ethnicity and people thinking she’s the nanny because her sons and husband are blonde with blue eyes.

Carlton is moving furniture with her Tinker Bell on crack, nanny and planning a lunch for the ladies. I like how Carlton chose her son’s nanny due to her beauty, rather than her intelligence. (maybe she just forgot to mention that part too?) We are now seeing Yolanda being visited by her nurse. She still looks as lovely as ever. I’m happy she is fortunate enough to have such good help for her recovery. Yolanda says this whole process has been extremely hard for her daughter Gigi, and she’s going to miss her when she moves to New York. Yolanda is such a good mother, and always has such a passion in her voice, when she speaks of her daughters’ dreams with her. Brandi is meeting with her boyfriend for lunch, who she refers to as “a pain in her ass,” which surprises me since I thought Brandi learned her lesson the first time with dealing with this type of man? That is what her book described right? Maybe not. Brandi breaks up with JR, because basically she can’t trust him because he lied about where he was going. Hmmm.. sounds familiar!

Lisa is inviting her daughter Pandora to watch her dance on DWTS, and although she was instructed not to dance after her pretty faint, she still did so anyways. Lisa ends up getting voted off, but tells the press she is relieved and doesn’t care what anyone says about her faint. Carlton is getting ready for the ladies’ arrival. She and her nanny seem very, um, chummy, to say the least. All the ladies meet at Kyle’s house so they can ride in a limo to Carlton’s house. Gotta love Bravo’s chauffeur policy. Carlton has not hired actual catering services for her lunch, just her friends, who are very pretty so that means lunch is going to be awesome. Yolanda doesn’t ride in the limo with the ladies, because she doesn’t like Kyle. While Yolanda and Carlton are bonding, the ladies are on their way to join them and of course the conversation of Lisa fainting comes up.

Kyle initially brings it up, and Brandi said the show was good, even though Lisa got eliminated. Kyle and the ladies agree that they think Lisa really wanted to go home. Brandi goes on to say that she’s never seen anyone faint so pretty, which relieves Kyle and Kim to know that they are not the only one’s suspicious about the faint. Joyce hasn’t seen the faint, but Brandi questions the story Lisa told her about it considering the position she fell in. The ladies have arrived. Kyle makes a joke that they are at Harry Potter’s house. FUNNY! Carlton’s house does resemble a goth castle. Kyle asks Carlton a simple question about her religion and Carlton is immediately offended. Ridiculous. Lisa has arrived and the Richards sisters and Joyce are exploring the castle and are terrified of the doll collection Carlton has.

Lisa joins Yolanda, Brandi, and Carlton at the bar and the topic of fake fainting gate is brought up to Lisa. Lisa is annoyed despite her earlier remarks of “I don’t care.” Brandi says they were just joking in the limo and Lisa brings it up right when the girls return from exploring. Joyce explains she hasn’t seen the faint but has heard the rumors and requests to see it. Kyle is annoyed that Brandi is trying to put the blame on her, and I agree with her. Lisa jokes all the time about each of the ladies, so she should learn to take what she dishes. Lisa definitely has a different set of rules for herself. I mean, how many times have we seen Lisa make fun of Kim alone, since season 1? And those were a lot more serious issues than a fake faint.

Kim compliments Carltons balls, LOL, and Kyle asks Carlton if she has explored with witchcraft, which is bloody rude according to Carlton. Kyle realizes that she has offended Carlton, so she tries to further explain what she meant. It seems Carlton already has her mind made up about Kyle, so anything Kyle says is going to be wrong and offensive. Carlton is annoyed and stays quiet while the ladies talk about witches. Leave it to Lisa to refer to the real witches being Kyle and Kim. The ladies see Carlton’s room and I love her big bed. I need one. Lisa is annoyed because Kyle is at the head of the table and calls her the “Queen Bitch.” I’m sure Lisa would have never made that remark if Carlton would have sat at the head of the table. Carlton explains to Lisa why she has a hot nanny, and Kyle intervenes to compliment Carlton’s house.

Kyle is trying to be nice and get to know the ladies and Brandi makes fun of her for it with a little joke. Brandi being the comedian she is, also decides to call Carlton a C-U-Next-Tuesday. Which shockingly doesn’t offend Carlton at all. Joyce points out how Carlton gets so angry at the littlest comment Kyle makes, and yet receives an insult from Brandi as if she were receiving a hug. Yolanda backs Brandi’s comment up, while Kim wants to tape her mouth shut. Yolanda tells Lisa she is not Brandi’s mother, but is her girlfriend. Kyle brings up DWTS, and the ladies want the scoop on Lisa’s hot dancing partner! The ladies are teasing Lisa about him, and Brandi also does the worst English accent ever. Lisa is talking to Carlton and Carlton proceeds to tell her she would be honored to get naked with her. RANDOM. Joyce makes a naughty comment to the girls all in fun, and Carlton acts like she is disgusted. Gosh this woman is looking for anyone to argue with.

Carlton is allowed to talk dirty and say what she wants, but the other ladies are not allowed to because it’s filthy and rude. Makes sense right? Carlton says women need to stop being catty, and Brandi somehow uses that topic to ask Kyle about the rumors of her husband Mauricio cheating on her. Kyle is annoyed that Brandi would even do that at a table in front of everyone, especially when she knows it is not true. Kyle lets the ladies know she has a strong marriage and chooses to ignore what the tabloids say. Yolanda suggests that something has to be true, and Lisa agrees with her. Kyle is hurt that the ladies would do that to her and keep talking about it. I feel bad for her because you can tell she just wants to cry and probably rip their heads off at the same time. I don’t blame her. Next week, the cheating story continues to unfold, and Brandi somehow turns herself into the victim of the rumors she brought up!

What did you guys think of tonight’s episode? Let’s Discuss!

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