Welcome ladies and gentlemen to our favorite national holiday: Ramona’s birthday month. Unfortunately due to Covid we have a sad candle in a single pastry and are reduced to just Luann vs. 50 of closest of Ramona’s girlfriends. Despite being unable to celebrate this joyous day nationally, the show must go on. So what else do we have in store?
Sonja and Eboni are using Leah’s boxer as a therapist, trying to work out their daddy issues, while across town Luann and Ramona are planning an intervention for Sonja. Things are pretty dark all around so thank goodness we get some light in the form of Luann’s original Christmas carol that is in the works. Mariah Carey better watch out as we all know this may replace ‘All I want for Christmas’ as the best pop holiday song of all time if ‘Chic Cest la Vie’ is any indication.
While planning Sonja’ and Ramona’s classy birthday celebration (complete with male burlesque dancers) Leah inquires about signing a contract for Lu’s new song as she is lending her talents and want to ensure that her voice won’t end up on some 3 AM infomercial. The fact that Luann is using the ladies’ voices in her soon to be classic Christmas hit only proves to be the icing on the cake. Luann is using her apartment as a home studio (unfortunately the Gorga’s home studio must have been booked) and Ramona comes over to record her contribution. Ramona gives it her all (despite admitting that her singing career peaked at the age of twelve) and her part is the gift that keeps on giving. We need more of these scenes that didn’t make the cut as I could watch it over and over. Sonja arrives and her portion is on par with Ramona’s and I’ve seen enough to confidently pay my .99 cents to buy this on Apple iTunes.
Unfortunately Leah’s portion doesn’t go as smoothly as she wants to see the contract before signing her nine words. Leah seems to think that something is suspicious in this deal and doesn’t blindly trust Lu like the other ladies. Leah kills the Christmas spirit by asking who is liable for the song and how much will be going to charity. I admire Leah for being a professional and wanting to read the fine print before performing, but I’m not sure how much of a splash this song is going to make that will cause the legal battle that she sees coming.
Ramona and Sonja’s birthday is upon us and the nude model is invited and the topic of conversation (well not him exactly but one part in particular.) There are plenty of good looking men to go around (it’s a party for Ramona and Sonja after all) but the big surprise are the male burlesque dancers (aka strippers.) Unfortunately it’s too much for Ramona so Leah happily takes her place. I mean – is anyone surprised that Leah loves strippers? This is the girl that loves to be nude more than any other housewife in history. While Ramona flirts with Will, Leah Googles the definition of the word vulva. Despite laughs and flirting all around, things take a turn when Eboni invites the ladies to a black Shabbat dinner which rubs Ramona the wrong way as she doesn’t like the focus to be on race. Things turn awkward when Bershaun is standing right there and is informed by Eboni that due to Covid she can’t invite her as there are so many seats. Perhaps Eboni should invite Bershaun over Ramona as Bershaun is black and Ramona doesn’t seem to be thrilled to be going to black Shabbat.
We end things with Leah going after Lu for not providing the ladies with any sort of contract or release for the Christmas song and is gladly challenged by Lu to ‘lawyer up.’ I feel if Lu would open a Word document and write up a quick statement outlining how this works it will go away; however I also understand that it’s for charity so Leah needs to calm herself.
That’s where we leave things – what are your thoughts on the season so far? Until next week!
RHONY airs Tuesday’s on Bravo.