RHOBH Recap: Defining Women

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It’s almost a holiday weekend, so no judgement if you want to open that bottle of wine early as we get ready to celebrate our independence!

We start this episode with Kyle recovering from a dumpling hangover, Rinna doing some charity work and Erika slumming it in her luxurious condo, waiting for Sutton to pick her up in her Bentley. The poor thing. Say what you want about Sutton, but girl is there for you when you need her (and she brings gifts!) Sutton rents out a spa for Erika to get her single look on and brings some Dom and candy to accompany them. Can I sign Sutton up for my next mental health day? Erika reveals that she is prepared for Tom to fight, and based on his last two divorces he isn’t going to play nicely. Erika reminds us that Tom has been a dismissive ass towards her throughout their entire marriage, and while I think this is true, I have to ask why no one is questioning why she lied about him being so wonderful up until this point. Erika goes on to further admit that she is mad at Tom for not seeing her in Chicago but still defended him in the past when questioned about this. Once again, why is no one calling her out for not being ‘Open and honest?’ 

Over at Garcelle’s she is truly a renaissance woman as she goes from being a host on a hit talk show to being a hands on mom in 15 seconds. Fortunately Garcelle’s new paycheck affords her a housekeeper to keep up with her two sons and one fish (RIP Kyle the goldfish.) I love seeing Garcelle with her sons as they clearly adore their mama and only want the best for her. Garcelle inquires about their thoughts on her remarrying, and like normal teenage boys they don’t want to think their mom trying to navigate the dating world and dismiss the idea. Garcelle has two men at home but she deserves the romantic type of love as well so I truly hope she finds it.

Erika is meeting Rinna for some Christmas shopping and in a ‘blink and you miss it moment’ is caught in a lie. Erika claims that Garcelle brought up Tom being seen with another woman and asked if Erika’s divorce had anything to do with infidelity on Tom’s part which Erika denies. Us viewers now know that Erika goes on to try and blame her divorce on Tom having an affair with a judge (via flip phone) so I have to ask how trustworthy Erika’s word is after seeing this. The rumors continue to churn as Rinna’s daughter Amelia is now dating KUWTK star Scott Disick, and yes that’s a 19 year old dating a 37 year old father of three. I feel that Rinna is secretly loving this as she mentions that she should text Kris Jenner, which makes me think she is thrilled that she finally has an excuse to text a Kardashian. Erika tries to calm Rinna’s nerves by stating that she dated Tom who was 33 years older and Harry Harmlin dated Ursula Anderson who was also older; however no one is mentioning that none of these relationships turned out well.

The ladies meet for drinks, and as a viewer, I have a few notes on this scene. 1.) what is with all these ridiculous outfits? Is this fashion, or just silly at this point? 2.) Why is Erika only drinking hot toddy’s this season? Is there some significance or meaning behind them that I don’t know about? 3.) Rinna is proving my point as one of the first questions she asks is how she should greet lord Disick. Why do I feel that she is just loving the attention? Fortunately Kyle responds with what everyone watching is thinking: “he’s too damn old.” Preach Kyle! To be honest, the only part of this scene I care about is Kathy thinking that ‘Mozel Tov’ means Merry Christmas in Hebrew. Thank you Bravo for Kathy Hilton – I truly can’t get enough.

The ladies sit down for dinner, and anytime these ladies sit down, sh*t goes down, and this time is no exception. Things turn sour as Sutton is not flattered that her new nickname is the female version of a peeping Tom. To be fair – who would want that reputation, even if it is a joke? Despite the ladies trying to talk sense into her, Crystal is sticking her heels in that she was violated and refuses to use any other word to describe her feelings. Thank goodness for Bravo editors as they prove that Crystal’s story doesn’t match up with the truth, and at this point Sutton needs to tell Crystal to let that mouse go.

Crystal backtracks stating that perhaps Sutton wasn’t creepy but she still was violated; however the scene stealer is Sutton herself doing her impression of the mysterious Mr. Poppins which made my night. Thank you for that Sutton!

RHOBH airs Wednesday’s on Bravo.

Thoughts on this episode?

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