RHONJ Recap: Pineapple Puss

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Greetings Jersey fans! Who here has Googled pineapple or eaten more pineapple since this season of Jersey has started? If so, you’re in luck as this episode is apparently all about that sweet nectar. The ladies are suspicious as Tre can’t stop talking about tasting sweet and is conveniently MIA, which makes the ladies question who she is trying to stay juicy for: hint – it’s not Juicy Joe.

While Tre is acting like a horny teenager, Dolores is dealing with grown women sh*t and is having a biopsy after getting a mammogram done. To the surprise of absolutely no one, her ex husband Frank is more supportive towards her then her boyfriend David. Our ever strong Jersey girl Dolores is dealing with this all on her own, and I don’t care if Dolores is strong or not: her boyfriend should be there for her in times like this and the fact that Frank is the one that is there for her speaks volumes.

Tre is having a ladies night with a psychic and hopefully none of the ladies are hungry as the spread is pretty skimpy. The Marge is first up and either the psychic is really good at the art of Google or she’s the real deal (it’s probably the first one.) Michelle the realtor is here and she is less Google-able and the Gina Marie is still spot on for her. Perhaps I was wrong and Gina Marie is legit? Can I get an appointment with her?! Proving me wrong again, the psychic can pretty much tell Dolores’ family history, and unless she has the premium package to Ancestory.com, I’m actually pretty impressed with her reading on Dolores. Melissa the skeptic is up next, and I have to say her reading is a little less personal (and more public knowledge) so I’m less impressed with this one. #JustSaying. While Jackie’s reading is less than stellar, Jennifer’s is pretty interesting as we find out that she has holy lineage; however the best reading is Tre’s as even the other world knows Tre is hot and heavy with a mystery man. Well now we know why there is so much damn pineapple in that house!

Trying to spice up their relationship is Melissa and Joe who are having a date night at what seems to be the only restaurant in Jersey: Rails. Melissa and Joe are at a rough point in their relationship as Melissa is ready for some her time while Joe still wants that traditional stay at home wife. Melissa has raised three children and has a business, not to mention that her children are nearly grown. Joe needs to let this 1950’s housewife go and embrace their new chapter as this story line is pretty stale (considering they have been talking about it ever since they joined the show.)

Someone who needs a date night even more than Melissa and Joe is Jennifer’s parents who seem to bicker non-stop 24/7. The two are clearly miserable together, so perhaps they can forgo Turkish culture and officially get divorced? I understand that we have to see these ladies’ real lives but I’m not particularly interesting in seeing grandparents get divorced on live TV #HardPass. Considering Jennifer’s children have a painful reaction to seeing their grandparents argue, I know I can’t be alone in this thought.

RHONJ airs Wednesday nights at 9/8 CST on Bravo. 

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