We start out with the return of The Countess who makes the ladies grovel at her feet, begging her to return with the promises that she will no longer be banished to the dungeon. Ramona has big plans in store for these ladies that include parties (with men) and tennis (with men.) Can someone please find Ramona a man so she can stop terrorizing the good bachelors of the Hamptons? Lu seems to be satisfied with her apologies as she ends up gracing us with her presence for a tennis match, (and flirt with the hot Italian instructor.)
Leah continues to grow on me as she doesn’t use Ramona’s incredible rudeness as an excuse to start a pointless fight that will drag on for episodes to come. Newbies are always trying to start a fight to get their own story line so props to Leah for not taking the bait! Ramona tries to make up for her lack of hosting skills by trying to bond again with the ladies and gives Lu the floor to be vulnerable. Luann admits that it’s hard not to drink and while I’m happy she’s admitting it, I find it hard to believe she is 100% sober when cameras aren’t around.
Apparently in order to get a job in the Hamptons you need to be a fit man willing to flirt with lonely middle age wealthy woman as the tennis instructor and dog groomers prove that. Lu uses the dog groomer as her own personal masseuse and really – would we expect anything less from The Countess?
The ladies decide to skip Ramona’s friend’s party and stay in to get drunk instead. At least when you get drunk in the privacy of your own house you don’t need to worry about Sonja yelling about shaving her ‘ you know what’ in a room full of strangers. The party is everything you would expect, as the ladies get ‘white girl wasted’ off of Champagne pong, and no one is more wasted than Leah and Sonja (who is carrying around a sex toy for whatever reason.)
The party really gets started when Leah and Tinsley strip down and jump in the pool and Leah declares war on the tiki torches, and if you don’t like that – well you don’t watch the news enough (according to Leah.) You know it’s on when a drunk Sonja joins the party and the three blondes decide to rid the Hamptons of all tiki torches in site. Ramona makes the mistake of leaving these drunks alone in her house, while Lu leaves as it’s not fun to be sober with this group.
With the sober ladies leave, Leah takes it upon herself to rid the house of the Morgan and Mortimer names in addition to the tiki torches. The level of crazy escalates to scary island level as Leah fights with Sonja while she is peeing on the toilet about the JP Morgan name. If this scene isn’t legendary I don’t know what is – Bravo ladies!
Unfortunately the morning after isn’t so pretty with sex toys in china and eyeglasses in champagne glasses. Needless to say, Ramona isn’t pleased and I’m shocked at how functional these ladies are as they should be hung over as hell. I think it’s safe to say we now know why Leah stopped drinking for nine years. Yikes.
RHONY airs Thursdays on 9 PM EST on Bravo.