Hello OC fans! If your looking for crumbling friendships, messy divorces and lots of tears – you’ve come to the right place!
We start out this classy episode by talking about trains and penises. Tamra thinks it will be funny to throw a party on a train and thinks Kelly will love it. Um…something makes me think Kelly will most definitely not think it’s funny and I find it pretty gross that Tamra would think this is okay. Does anyone else find this twisted that we are still talking about this?
At least if we have to talk trains we get Meghan Edmonds back this episode! Meghan shows up for her frenemy Shannon’s birthday party rocking denim on denim and a train conductor hat! While I love a good housewives throwback did anyone cringe when we saw Kelly’s flashback accusing Jim of cheating? #Yikes. Everyone is aboard the hot mess express and shockingly Kelly is okay with it (keep in mind she is relatively sober at this time.) While Kelly is calm and cool Gina and Emily are still feuding which seems to affect Emily more than Gina.
After Kelly discusses her dating woes (girl holds a tight leash) Gina brings up her non-existent date from hell thanks to Shane’s cousin. Emily is maintaining her innocence that she didn’t know Shane’s cousin had a girlfriend but what I really want to see is a picture of this mystery man. The real mystery to me is that she wanted to date a relative of Shane. Emily ends up leaving the table in frustration with Meghan and Braunwyn following her. Emily has a meltdown in the restroom so Meghan begrudgingly follows her in to hash it out. To the shock of no one, nothing is resolved and Emily ends up leaving in tears and the poor women waiting in line to use the restroom looked as confused and annoyed as us viewers.
Nothing ends up getting resolved and Emily’s story gets stranger and stranger. Apparently Shane didn’t even know this cousin and only met him a few years ago and the first thing Emily thought would be to go on a double date with Gina. Apparently Emily assumed that since he never saw her with a girl she assumed she was single – wouldn’t this come up when she suggested the double date? Something does not add up here; however, fortunately, the girls get drunk and decide to drop the conversation and go out for a night on the town instead.
Shannon may now be a member of AARP (Kelly’s words not mine) but these girls party like they are 21. I can only imagine how bad they are all going to feel tomorrow. The ladies terrorize the poor guests and go on the hunt for a single man and they are SOL so decide to hit on each other. Tamra and Braunwyn definitely have some chemistry and have similar um…preferences and end up in a passionate make-out session to the horror of all the paying patrons. I am beyond embarrassed for them as this does not seem like the time of the place – take it to the love shack Braunwyn! Shockingly, Gina and Emily don’t blink an eye and seem to talk out their issues – perhaps they should seal it with a kiss as well?
After a few housewives take a tumble the girls take it to the dance floor to which Braunwyn takes the cake with her dirty dance moves. To Kelly’s point, Vicki is no saint but all of a sudden gets offended at Braunwyn’s dancing. Are you freaking kidding me, Vicki? After everything you’ve done on camera your getting offended by some dancing – give me a break. If you’re going to get offended, get offended by Tamra and Braunwyn having some x rated action over on the couch – these two need to go back to Braunwyn’s love shack and just get it over with. I am honestly curious to see what Sean and Eddie’s reaction is although neither will probably blink an eye.
Speaking of couple dynamics, Kelly and her doctor boyfriend Brian are going through a very awkward time as Brian is over Kelly’s over the top lifestyle and her clingy ways. It’s obvious that this isn’t the man for Kelly but the two seem to stick it out (at least for now) but since we all know a breakup is in their future I have to wonder why Bravo is spending so much time on this storyline.
Next time we see Rowan’s fashion show, more issues with Ryan Veith and Shannon being a stage mom. Will you be turning in?