Howdy Dallas fans! Tonight we’re celebrating milestone birthdays by getting roasted and toasted in celebration of D’Andra Simmons. I don’t know about you but I think the thing I would like lest if I was turning 50 was to be roasted by friends but to each their own.
We start out this episode with the Dallas ladies doing the latest in fitness which is a 90-minute workout in 20 minutes. Sign me up! On second thought – maybe not as it apparently involves getting electrocuted. I’ll just go running outside the old fashioned way thank you very much. Across town, the new besties Brandi and LeeAnne meet for margaritas and it’s a little odd to see the two getting along with all of their history. I guess with LeeAnne and D’Andra falling out, LeeAnne has an open spot for a new BFF which it looks like Brandi has taken. I give this friendship until the end of the season before they have a fallout but perhaps they will prove me wrong.
Brandi already has enough on her hands as her daughter Brooklyn has turned into a sassy teenager even though she’s still a tween. In an attempt to bond, Brandi takes her daughter shopping; however, Brooklyn isn’t having it. I’m sure this is just a phase but Brandi isn’t taking any chances and splurges nearly $800 in an attempt to appease her daughter.
Also trying to mend fences is D’Andra and LeeAnne who are meeting for drinks in an attempt to repair their fractured friendship. LeeAnne comes in with an agenda as she wants D’Andra to admit she lied about Rich cheating but D’Andra stands firm that she was speaking the truth and is standing firm that Rich cheats. I don’t know why so-called “friends” love to accuse the partner of their best friend of cheating then are shocked when it’s an issue in their friendship. It’s not just in RHOD but a theme in every real housewife franchise and something I don’t understand. At the end of the day, their relationship is frosty at best but D’Andra still invites LeeAnne to her roast.
We are getting to know the new girl Kary and her husband Eduardo better as the two go out for a date night; however, the two bicker a ton and I’m getting a flashback to the original Bickersons: Adrienne and Paul of RHOBH. The two manage to bicker about when to order food, the difficulty of marriage and who is harder to live with. Kary admits she is hoping that this marriage will last as her first did not but she doesn’t seem to have a lot of confidence in it.
On to a lighter scene, D’Andra’s roast is upon us and while the party looks beautiful I would prefer to have my friends praise me and not roast me on my special day. D’Andra may have requested a roast but what she really wants is the money from her trust; however, Mama Dee isn’t quite sure to give that up yet. I find it odd that a woman who is celebrating her 50th birthday is still so controlled and living under the thumb of her mother. D’Andra – look at the number of candles on the cake: It’s time to live independently for the first time in your life!
The roast begins and judging how the drinks are flowing I’m nervous as to what people are going to say. Stephanie Hollman is up first and I have to say she killed it. Her roast was the perfect mix of funny yet packed a punch which is exactly what you want a roast to be. From what we’ve seen Stephanie’s was by far the best as everyone else just kissed her ass and Brandi’s roast was a bit confusing. Even more confusing is Jermey’s gift for his wife’s 50th birthday who gifts her 50 doughnuts. Hm…I would pretty much prefer anything else other than 50 doughnuts for my milestone birthday. I felt that Jeremy’s gift was a bust but LeeAnne’s odd speech that followed was even more of a dud. Perhaps next time these ladies try a roast they should hire some professionals to do the writing?