Well Beverly Hills fans – we made it! In what some have argued to be the worst season of the franchise (puppygate and all) we’ve finally made it to the reunion! There is one very noticeably absent housewife on the reunion couch but I have a feeling there is enough drama to discuss without her. Let’s begin shall we?
Well on a positive note I’m loving all of the ladies looks but my vote for best dressed goes to Kyle Richards – loving that neon dress with the big hair! Not 100% feeling Dorit’s hair clips but I’m totally feeling Denise drinking straight tequila before we even get started. We hear from Mr. John Mellencamp through his daughter who has instructed her to be modest and not to cry (maybe he should have told her at the beginning of the season??)
We start out with a bang as Andy Cohen throws some shade by comparing LVP to Adrienne Maloof and showing a shady clip making LVP look like a huge hypocrite. Kyle thinks Lisa V. spoke with the press before not showing for the reunion as she didn’t want to get fired by Andy Cohen (a la Adrienne Maloof) however brought a birthday present just in case she shows. The ladies deny harassing Lisa V. and still think they could have worked through things if she would have showed up (I all BS on that.)
While the ladies hope that LVP makes a surprise appearance, our surprise guest is actually Camille Grammer, but first: Rinna! Rinna can’t keep her mouth shut and starts the reunion out by spilling all of Nicolette Sheridan’s dirty dirty secrets which I’m sure will end in a Twitter battle. I’m not a huge Nicolette Sheridan fan (Edie was my least favorite Desperate Housewives character) but she didn’t sign up for a reality show so why is Rinna talking about her? Perhaps we should just make her a housewife so she can get paid for being a hot topic?
Denise is first up to get her montage and we learn that Charlie Sheen is supportive of her being on the show but wasn’t too thrilled about that old ‘hooker at Thanksgiving’ story. Denise also owns being a (relatively) normal person by wearing normal clothes and I hope she doesn’t change next season by hiring a glam squad (but I have a feeling she will – look at what happened to Teddi!) After this season, I think it’s safe to call her St. Denise as she didn’t take her crazy ex-husband to the cleaners in their divorce, seems to be a genuinely kind person and does it all while raising a special needs daughter. Out of everyone on the couch Denise seems to be the most genuine – don’t change Denise!
Kyle is next in the hot seat (anxiety attacks and all) and as someone who also has anxiety – I can totally relate to Kyle and her crazy moments. In a bizarre moment, Kyle is unofficially crowned the Queen of RHOBH as Lisa Vanderpump quit and while I love me some Kyle I find the moment cheesy and a bit odd.
Camille is next up and walks into the lions den clearly terrified as to what’s to come. She starts off easy by discussing her life as a newlywed and how she has moved from her former estate to her more modest accommodations. Andy and the ladies find it odd that as a newlywed she still uses the name Grammar; however she insists that it’s only for the children as they obviously have the same last name. It seems to be going smoothly for Ms. Grammar until Andy asks her to comment on Denise’s divorce settlement to which Denise feel shaded and well it all goes downhill from there. Camille thinks she is justified in her settlement because she didn’t sit around eating bon bons and was married for 13 years. Denise feels she is shading her and behind the scenes comments that Cammille is being hurtful and mean (didn’t she watch season 1???)
Fortunately for Camille things take a naughty turn as we get a montage of this season’s sexiest moments and naturally the ‘happy moment’ is a topic of discussion. It is beyond weird as Aaron reveals that it was an old lady that performed it (ew!) and it seems Denise regrets saying it on camera. Denise admits her girls weren’t thrilled with all the sexy talk and she ended up taking a naughty picture of Aaron down for the sake of her children (because does any kid want the world to see that??) The rest of the ladies reveal their dirty secrets and we learn that Mr. Girardi used to hang out with “back scratchers” in Vegas, Teddi still schedules sex and Rinna is a freak once she is behind closed doors. Thanks for the TMI ladies!
So much for fun and laughs as we take a dramatic turn to the dreaded puppygate storyline. Ugh. Teddi ends up in the hot seat as she was caught in a lie this season despite famously stating that never will you find her in one. Teddi admits that she was petty and guilty by omission; however insists she is being accountable for her actions. Despite her confession, Denise and Andy are confused as to why she never spoke to LVP directly vs. communicating with her employees. Erika seems to stand by her statement from last year that Teddi isn’t as innocent as she may seem and Dorit ends part 1 with a statement that I had been thinking all season: Teddi didn’t come clean by her own conscious but rather due to not wanting to be the only one hurting Dorit. It wasn’t until she saw that LVP was trying to shut it down that she decided to back out. The question remains: if LVP tried to take Dorit down would Teddi have played along?