RHONY Recap: Life is Not a Cabaret

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Greetings New York fans! It’s almost summer which means hot temps, beaches and housewives on vacation who can’t hold their liquor. Let’s begin shall we?

The ladies are still in Miami and (shocker) hungover while recapping their crazy night. Tinsley (in a very hungover, low voice) recaps her potential romance with Bethenny however the real news is the fact that Sonja’s drinking is out of control and needs to be addressed before it ruins the trip. Bethenny (shades and all) goes in to talk to Sonja about her drinking; however Sonja thinks she doesn’t have a problem because she can avoid drinking a few days a week. I’ve thought Sonja has needed to slow down for many seasons so I’m happy to see this mini intervention has finally taken place. Sonja is receptive about the meeting until the Countess comes in and with it comes a ‘holier than thou’ attitude which turns Sonja off. A reluctant Sonja finally agrees to go with Luann to a meeting to appease the ladies; however is clearly not feeling it.

Tins is planning her date with Brett but has to get the claws out as ‘Ramona the man eater’ is trying to steal him for herself and poor sweet Tinsley has to claim her territory. Sonja has other plans for the day as she is dressed for a beach party but is really going to an AA meeting with Lu while poor Barbara is left to be fed to the wolves. I feel for Barbara as she is a fish out of water here and her supposed friend Lu is so self absorbed that she hasn’t had the time to make sure Barbara has felt included.

While Sonja and Lu attend the meeting, the rest of the ladies lounge by the pool shocked that Sonja actually attended AA. Sonja is clearly an empathetic person and hearing other’s stories has affected her as she feels helpless she can’t help everyone that she just met. Lu and Sonja meet up with the other ladies (who ironically are drinking – not the best for ladies fresh out of an AA meeting) and perhaps that’s what triggered Sonja but something set the poor woman off. Sonja goes from 0 to 60 and bursts into tears as reality hits her as she realizes other people have genuine problems in this world. I find her behavior a bit disturbing this trip as whens she’s drinking she is drinking excessively and now when she’s sober she is breaking down out of nowhere. I think there is definitely something deeper going on with Sonja.

While the rest of the ladies are focused on getting Sonja out of whatever situation is triggering her, Luann is most focused on getting her ass to the beach. Luann is clearly feeling herself this season and the rest of the ladies are appalled that Luann is more concerned about seeing her Cabaret poster instead of checking on her friends. I’ll take the middle of the road in this situation as Luann has every right to be proud of herself and wanting to see her poster; however even I’m over Cabaret at this point so I can’t imagine how the other ladies feel as they are living it.

Lu finally returns to the house which ends in disaster as she and Sonja get into an explosive fight as Lu accuses Sonja of judging others in the meeting and wanting attention while Sonja calls Luann a diva. I do think Luann is a complete diva but she also hit rock bottom so perhaps the ladies should be a little more gentle in their delivery. All in all, I think all of these ladies are a little self-absorbed and have diva tendencies but that’s just part of being a housewife right?

Someone who is being selfless and a good friend is Bethenny who has her girl Tinsley’s back and sets her up on a date with Brett from the party. I love when Bethenny is a ‘girl’s girl’ and think it’s sweet that she went out of her way to set Tinsley up on a date. Of course Ramona is jealous that Tinsley is dating; however after seeing Tinsley’s date perhaps Ramona should have gone instead as Ramona has far more game. Tinsley is clearly a little neurotic and out of practice as her date consists of talking about her mugshot, being 43 with no kids and how her mom wants her to have children ASAP. Run for the hills Brett! Perhaps he decides to stay due to the fact that Tinsley doesn’t mess around on first dates and the two end up making out (getting flashbacks to her and Scott when they met); however perhaps he just wanted her to stop talking?

The other ladies meet Tins at the bar; however Tinsley’s endorphins from her date are drained the second Luann sits down. Luann complains that her massage was rushed and that her hair was done last and all I have to say is #RichPeopleProblems. Barbara decides this dinner is the time to spill her feelings to Lu that their friendship is one sided to which Luann decides can be mended with a big “Lu hug.” The other ladies try and stick up for Barbara by saying she put her friendship with Luann before anything else which inhibited her from forming friendships with the other ladies. Tinsley chimes in to defend Babs; however being a few martinis in ends up slurring her words. Luann sees a chink in the armor and decides to go in for the jugular by mocking Tinsley slurring her speech. Obviously this is a sore spot for Dorinda as something similar happened to her last year; however the person most affected was Bethenny. The B goes off on Luann saying she is ‘insufferable’ and accuses her of using her sobriety to leverage herself and to judge others. Bethenny then suffers a severe mental breakdown over the fact that her ex-fiance is dead and Dennis was the one who helped Luann with her legal situation. I think the fact that Dennis is no longer here and Luann is, but doesn’t seem to appreciate it, is the real root of Bethenny’s anger. Her breakdown is disturbing and I think the other ladies should have taken her out of the situation to calm down as I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bethenny like this. Perhaps Luann should take the ladies’ advice and look in the mirror as if you’re the only one who doesn’t see it, there’s probably a reason for it!

Thoughts on this episode? Do you think Cabaret has gone to Luann’s head?

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