Hola Beverly Hills amigos! Full disclosure: I’ve decided that if we are going to be talking about Lucy Lucy Apple Juice (yet again) I would need a glass of wine to get me through it. How much doggie drama can we take? With that confession out of the way let’s begin…
Lucky for us, it’s nearly wedding day as Denise is planning a wedding in 48 hours so there is some distraction from the ridiculousness around poor LLAJ. To prepare, Kyle, Teddi and Dorit are shopping for Denise and Aaron; however quickly discover that the only thing they know about the couple is that they like tequila (and are aware of Aaron’s anatomy.) To be fair – what else is there to know? The trio decide on an alcohol themed wedding present and promise to venmo each other the money. RHOBH stars – they’re just like us!
Meanwhile Rinna is hustling as hard as any hustler can hustle and is in Philadelphia to sell her QVC gear. Rinna face times with the blushing bride to be and reveals the only reason she and Harry Hamlin didn’t wed within 48 hours was because HH was skeptical. No comment there.
LVP is renovating her kitchen as she is unahppy with La Cocina Villa Rosa. I would say LVP is being a diva; however I’m obsessed with a good kitchen as well so if I had an extra $300K I would probably be doing the same. You do you LVP!
Over at Denise’s, the bride is working on minor wedding details such as wondering if her ex husband will bring a prostitute as a date and minute details like informing her daughters that she is getting married. Luckily for the girls, multiple marriages in Hollywood are as common as housewives drinking white wine so it’s no big deal that their mom is getting a new husband in little more than 24 hours. Maybe I should take back my comment on the housewives being ‘just like us‘…
I’ll for sure take back the comment that they are one of us, as I’m going to assume that none of us have enough money to pay for a gorgeous Malibu wedding with a few hours to plan it. Apparently someone who is on a budget is Erika Jayne who is showing up to Denise’s fabulous wedding in one of Rinna’s QVC jumpsuits. Despite wearing black to a sunny Malibu wedding, Erika insists it’s “chic” and once again – no comment. Fortunately, the focus is not on Erika as we have a Bond girl Bride and the whole Teddi vs. LVP drama to distract us.
There is a sweet moment with Denise and her father as she asks him to light a candle for his late wife. Anyone who saw Denise’s reality show on E! knows that Denise’s father is a sweetheart and I’m glad to see that nothing has changed. The only thing that is slightly amiss is the fact that the bride is in curlers when she should be walking down the aisle. To be fair, we know this crowd and as long as the bar is open is anyone really going to complain?
The bride (finally) gets ready and decides to go with an nontraditional look as she already had her classic Hollywood wedding with Charlie Sheen. The look she is going for is beachy and Malibu and considering she is missing the bottom half to her dress I would say she nailed it. Of course, I kid – Denise makes a gorgeous bride last minute dress and all.
Someone who is regretting their attire? Erika Jayne’s as she is still rocking her 100% polyester Lisa Rinna jumpsuit and the bride is uber-late to her own wedding. The guests are H-O-T hot and unfortunately for Denise, Teddi Mellencamp is a guest at the wedding and the punctuality police is not happy. The wedding is over an hour behind schedule and the guests are baking under the Malibu sun.
The bride and groom (finally) arrive and are delighted to see the girls walk down the aisle; however are shocked when Denise walks down accompanied to a heavy metal song. The lighting of the candle for Denise’s mother is sweet; however unfortunately the moment is overshadowed when the paparazzi shows up and a helicopter drowns out half the ceremony. To credit Rinna – is it better that no-one wants your photo or that the photographers ruin your wedding? Isn’t that the question tale as old as time?
The wedding is gorgeous and I have to admit that I’m thrilled that we had a (nearly) full episode LLAJ free and that showcased the fun and over the top fabulous lives of the rich and famous that we love to see.
Remember I said nearly? That’s because we can’t go a full episode without mentioning Dorit’s dog drama as Bravo had to tease us with a cliffhanger. Dorit and PK receive a notification that Radar caught wind of the LLAJ drama and had the story twisted. PK and Dorit are 100% sure that LVP notified Radar due to words such as “nipped” and the fact that the source knew it was a Chihuahua mix. Full disclosure – I’m American and I’ve used the word “nipped” – we need more receipts Dorit!
Next week is the infamous “get out Kyle” episode so stay tuned!