The Real Housewives of New Jersey - RHONJ

RHONJ Premiere Recap!

The wait is over Jersey fans – welcome back! It’s been a long wait but our favorite Jersey girls are back in the house and are prepared to bring it!

We start out with a tale as old as time (aka the never ending feud between Tre and Melissa) only to move back 3 months to see how it all began…

Apparently it began with Teresa doing her best to stay above water by taking care of her four daughters and father (who is upset that his son Joey G. is MIA.) Milania is a tween meaning she is difficult to raise and is experimenting with fashion, while the older girls help out while Joe “is away.” His presence is still made known as they mention him emailing the girls and I do feel for Tre as she is clearly being pulled in a hundred different directions. I know we haven’t even got into it yet but why is Tre taking care of her father while her husband is behind bars and she’s raising 4 girls on her own? I haven’t seen it play out yet but I’m already #TeamTre as I feel that Joe Gorga should be stepping in to help his father out more – especially since Papa Gorga has requested it. In the words of Tamra Judge, “that’s just my opinion!” 

Over to Margaret who we get some TMI regarding coffee and her husband Joe only to find that their house is still in shambles under construction (I’ll try to be nice about it.) Meanwhile, Dolores has a beautiful house but is an empty nester and is extremely lonely. I’m just waiting for her and ex-hubby Frank to get back together and make it official. We all know it’s bound to happen one of these seasons!

Over at casa Gorga, Melissa is planning a 39th birthday party and apparently invited all the regular Jersey girls which is bound to end in hair pulling and tears. Melissa is hoping everyone gets along and I’m going to roll my eyes over here as everyone (including Melissa) knows that will never happen. Something else that will never happen? Joe helping out at home – stop trying to make it a story line Melissa!

Speaking of story lines, Tre is taking a page out of Tamra Judge’s book and has entered a bikini fitness competition. Tre seems shocked to find that she will be in a thong for this and is fearful her girls will undoubtedly be mortified. No one wants to see their other in a thong – just as Tamra’s children! Apparently Joe Giudice isn’t thrilled about this either as he doesn’t want other men oogling his wife while he is behind bars; however Tre tasted sweet freedom and is not letting it go.

Over with Marge, she is taking the classic housewives story line and doing the vaginal rejuvenation surgery, only it’s her mother getting the procedure done and not herself. Seriously – do Bravo employees get discounts for this procedure? Almost all the housewives, and now their mothers, have gotten this done and I’m over seeing it. Apparently Marge Sr. is looking to get back on the dating scene and is preparing herself from the “bottom up” as she’s looking to get some action. 

Speaking of dating, Dolores and her ex husband Frank (who is pretty much her main man) are going to look at a property as Frank has been disbarred, much to the surprise of Dolores. The two are flipping houses to put their children through college and I’m shocked that Dolores will do business with a man who has lied to her and was recently disbarred, even if he is the father of her children. I’m hoping that Dolores is hiring a third party to ensure this is being doing legally and that there is no shady business involved. For some reason Jersey me and shady business practices seem to go hand in hand. Apparently Dolores found out about Frank getting disbarred from Andy Cohen during the NJ reunion, and as a result, has some trust issues with him. Dolores may be the wife of the century as not only did she forgive Frank for cheating years ago but she also moved on pretty quickly from this embarrassment.

Margaret is having the Gorga’s over for dinner and the two discuss Danielle’s upcoming wedding. Danielle (to the surprise of no one) is being a bride-zilla and is insisting on a bachelorette party along with all the bells and whistles that a wedding brings. Dinner is served and I have to say Margaret’s staff is just as eccentric as she and her mother are. I think the Josephs house is just plain kooky but hey, to each their own! Conversation turns to business as Marge is launching a pajama line and has invited Dolores to the launch as the two are now on good terms. Not on good terms? Dolores and “scum bag” Danielle as Danielle has been running her mouth on Frank getting disbarred. It may be true but does Danielle really have any room to talk? Her past is more spotty than a dalmatian (please excuse the bad jokes tonight…)

Dolores and Teresa meet for dinner as Dolores is a support system for Tre as Frank was a huge body builder so she understands the strict diet more than anyone. Tre is having a hard time giving up her Italian wines and food; however Dolores is a huge support for her and doesn’t bat an eye when Tre brings her own food to the restaurant. Tre brings up Danielle running her mouth about Frank and old school Dolores isn’t happy that Danielle is talking about her family business. If Danielle is going to talk, maybe she should talk about Dolores’ boyfriend who is constantly MIA. Am I the only one who completely forgot he even existed??

The night of Melissa’s party has arrived and we will get to meet the new girl Jackie at the soiree (which is apparently in a secret cave.) Apparently Melissa sees herself in Jackie as the two both have kids and drink so it’s a match made in heaven. Tre is abstaining from drinking due to her body building competition but everyone else is letting that liquor flow (especially Joe Gorga who is trying to force his sister to drink.) We also get to meet new girl Jennifer who has a connection to Dolores and makes the Giudice/Gorga family look modern as she is used to chaperoned dates and arranged marriages. Both the new girls seem interesting and I’m hoping Jersey finally found their right fit.

Danielle finally joins the party and tensions are high between herself and Dolores. Dolores decides to ignore her and if you know Danielle, that’s probably the best way to go in this situation. Margaret made it known to Dolores that although she and Danielle are close, she doesn’t condone Danielle being the town gossip which Dolores appreciates. While this mature conversation is going on Melissa is getting drunk and jumping on Teresa while yelling at her husband to bring home the cake. We end on a high note with birthday cake being thrown all around and you know somewhere Siggy Flicker is watching this, completely mortified.

Personally I thought the Jersey premiere was great, but what was your opinion?

Thoughts on the episode? Let’s discuss!

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