The Real Housewives of Dallas - RHOD

RHOD Recap: God Save the Queen, Bitch!

Welcome back to Dallas y’all!

We left off with Beaver Liquors and fights about a helpless baby so in the words of LeeAnne Locken you know we are going to run into some T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

We start off with some hungover housewives getting ready for the day with D’Andra filling in LeeAnne about the mess that happened the night before. Kam is still so upset about what Stephanie said that she wants her to leave the house. Kameron is like a dog with a bone and for the love of  everything that is sane cannot let it go. This may be the dumbest fight in all of housewives history. If you need a refresher, this fight is over Kameron being upset that Brandi didn’t tell her she was adopting a baby. The two aren’t even close and generally people are nothing but supportive when something like this happens, so I’m wondering if Kameron is just trying to make a story line for herself this season. I mean pink dog food can only carry you so far on the housewives! I feel for poor Cary who has to listen to the headache that is Kameron.

The ladies are going snowmobiling and between Kameron and Stephanie along with D’Andra and Brandi it’s pretty much the most awkward van ride ever. Brandi breaks the ice by saying she felt targeted; however Kameron feels that is crazy (she is clearly in her own little world.) Brandi hit the nail on the head when she says that Kameron is making the adoption all about her and not about her happy life event. Thankfully all the ‘wives are shockingly rational and explain to Kameron all of the ways she is overreacting and reading too much into it.

The ladies are ready to have some fun after all the petty drama and are ready to go snowmobiling, injector seats and all (not going to lie, I totally thought the instructor was serious for a second!) The view from the top is stunning and it’s refreshing to see everyone getting along and having fun. The peace lasts for two seconds as D’Andra decides the top on the mountain is the perfect time to ask Brandi if the two are on good terms. Can’t we all just take in the sights for a second? D’Andra is pretty rational and owns up to her mistake and I’m shocked at how well these two resolve this argument. Are the rest of the ‘wives taking notes here? The two make snow angels in honor of their new friendship which seems to cement their new bond over both having ADHD.

Over lunch the ladies decide who they will eat in case of emergency and end the lunch over a mix of a fireball and tequila shot (gag!) Back at the house, Brandi calls to check in on her three children and it’s clear her mother has her hands full with Brandi’s fiery trio. Brandi is loving some mommy time off as the ladies are getting down and dirty with a chair dance and some dirty dancing to cap off their night.

The next morning, Stephanie has to leave early to meet her family in Italy which is 10 x better than hanging out at Beaver Liquors and fighting with Kameron Westcott. Not to mention that LeeAnne and D’Andra are fighting over who is the queen of the Dallas ‘wives and I want to know who the hell actually wants that title? Better question: where were the cameras when this happened? I need to see this fight!

Apparently Stephanie is going to miss the ‘free day’ as Kameron is giving the ladies some freedom to run and play as they please. Brandi has better plans and decides they are going to have a pageant to decide once and for all who is the Queen Bitch of the Dallas wives. In the meantime, Cary goes skiing, LeeAnne gets a massage and D’Andra and Brandi go shopping. Brandi and D’Andra could have gone to a bar instead as they are getting just as drunk, drinking a good amount of tequila. Brandi gets in some beaver jokes, tequila shots and cowboy dancing in so it’s pretty much Brandi’s perfect day out (surely Kameron would not approve.)

Meanwhile, D’Andra is blowing some big bucks, spending close to $4,700.00; however reels herself in as her mom may be tightening her purse strings due to not seeing eye to eye in their business. Personally D’Andra’s mom scares the hell out of me and I would prefer to find other investors as well. They definitely do not have a traditional mother/daughter relationship and I’m surprised that she turned out as normal as she did.

For their last night out, the Dallas ‘wives have a nice dinner planned in a cabin (with a buffet.) I’m shocked that posh Kameron planned their final dinner with a commoners buffet full of carbs. While dining on their mac and cheese and potatoes, Brandi announces her pageant and the ceremony commences. For the Q&A portion, LeeAnne is asked what she can do with her hands while giving the perfect pageant answer and it’s clear this is not her first rodeo. D’Andra also nails her tough question on..um..odor issues and it’s a pretty close competition.

The pageant then goes from funny to serious when D’Andra asks LeeAnne why he has not set a date for her wedding. LeeAnne reveals the reason there is no date is due to Rich’s issue with his eye; however D’Andra isn’t buying it. LeeAnne then completely changes her story, blaming it on her revealing she is afraid of getting divorced. I’m not sure which reason is the real one (or if either is even the true reason.) Who knows with LeeAnne? The other ladies try to reassure LeeAnne that marriage isn’t as scary as it is in her head as both Cary and D’Andra have divorces under their belt and didn’t let it stop them from finding love. LeeAnne breaks down and takes down her eyelashes with her; luckily nurse Cary is on hand to help out. Despite not getting to the root of the issue, D’Andra is letting LeeAnne off the hook for the night but vows to get the real reason the two haven’t set the date.

The next morning, the pageant proceeds with the talent portion with D’Andra doing something involving a cup and her butt and LeeAnne doing the worlds worst rap. Clearly the two lack talent; however between the two D’Andra took the crown.

Well that’s it my lovelies! We will meet at the rodeo, once again discussing LeeAnne’s engagement. Until then!

Thoughts on this episode? Let’s discuss!

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About the author

Lydia

Lydia is a Midwest girl who has a passion for running, yoga with a guilty pleasure for all things Bravo. She also loves traveling, her cat and contributing to her favorite reality blog AllAboutTRH! Some of the highlights from being on the AATRH team include being featured on Radio Andy, E! Online and visiting the Bravo Clubhouse.

Email: lydia@allabouttrh.com | Phone: (248) 436-1663 Ext. 3 | "Write to Lydia": AllaboutTRH.com Attn: Lydia 3160 Ridgeway Ct. Commerce Twp., MI 48390