Welcome back to the Big Apple! We start out with Dorinda and Jules doing some shopping with Dorinda confiding that she doesn’t want to see Ramona at an upcoming gift exchange but is going for Bethenny (because everyone seems to be bowing down to Betheny this season!) The ladies are rehashing the disastrous dry cleaning party and Dorinda comes to the conclusion that Ramona is so obsessed with John because she must be dying to sleep with him – um EW!
Bethenny is getting ready for a holiday caviar party/gift exchange and Bethenny is appalled that the caviar girl looks like a cheap Elsa (I was more concerned that she looks like she was 12 years old!)
Luann and Sonja are getting drinks across town and Luann apparently thinks she is now Sonja’s mom since they are living together and wouldn’t let her order a martini. Luann discusses her former flame Rey (that was giving off a serious gay vibe) and claims he was stalking her and she is now trying to distance herself from him. Luann says he wasn’t a “lover” but they did have a one night stand. Luann says there was something “off” about him (umm..ya think?) and she couldn’t deal with him because he’s a hot mess so dumped him.
Back at the Frozen/caviar party Ramona is giving her account of what happened. Ramona is less concerned with the creep Luann used to date and is more concerned with Johns “fat, ugly” hands in her face. Jules has to jump in as Ramona is telling a pretty one sided story. Before Jules gets into the good part, Dorinda walks in and Ramona shuts the story down. Bethenny can feel the tension when Dorinda walks in and pulls her aside where Dorinda has a mini-breakdown before she even gets her first drink in! Dorinda admits she is afraid of where she is in her life. Bethenny thinks she should be by herself for awhile (which I agree with) as Dorinda seems all over the place and secretly unhappy.
The ladies are talking the Berkshires and Dorinda discloses that Sonja isn’t invited mainly due to tension with Bethenny (seriously why is everyone sucking up to Bethenny this season??) For some reason Carole is still invited although she has tension with Luann and Ramona is invited as well, despite her issues with the hostess Dorinda!
After a brief reconciliation over caviar, Ramona and Dorinda feel their friendship is more important than John and Ramona says she’s not letting Dorinda cut her out of her life (despite Dorinda wanting to!)
Over to chateau Morgan, Sonja and Luann are like overgrown sorority sisters that never left the sorority house. The ladies wake up hungover with underwear on the floor and discussing Luann’s previous night conquest. Luann is keeping her mystery man a secret as he has ties to other ladies in the group (FYI this is the man who is now her fiancé!) Like good sorority girls Luann is reading the daily gossip and reads about Ramona getting kicked out of the party and is appalled that Sonja is the one that gets a bad rep.
Sonja and Dorinda meet up looking like two stylish New Yorkers and Dorinda has an uncomfortable moment where she notifies Sonja she will not be attending the Berkshires – awkward!!
Finally we get to meet Luann’s mysetery man and Luann discloses she only invited Jules and Dorinda for the big reveal as she didn’t want flack from the other ladies and feel these two would be open to her new boyfriend. Tom informed Luann that he was tied to Ramona but it wasn’t anything romantic. Tom is telling the group that Dorinda built Luann up and when he spoke to her on the phone he could tell she would be sexy as she had a sultry voice. John ruins the story by asking of the phone was moist (what?!?) and Dorinda shuts it down and is clearly appalled by John’s behavior (as was everyone else.)
Over in the Berkshires it’s Christmas and Dorinda is getting ready for her party in her gorgeous home (which Ramona’s dog is pooping in.) Ramona is catching on to the fact that Luann is dating her ex-boyfriend (which should be interesting as he made it sound like they didn’t actually date.)
Luann and Jules arrive and Luann states that Sonja is so upset and once again Dorinda says that Bethenny is upset with her so it’s best that she isn’t there (also adds that Sonja and alcohol don’t mix.) Luann is team Sonja and says that Sonja should have been invited; however Ramona jumps in that she needs to focus on improving herself by doing yoga or charity.
Bethenny arrives (with the Countess’ hairstyle) and cuts to the chase asking point blank if Luann is dating Ramona’s ex-boyfriend. Luann still isn’t confirming anything so I’m assuming this storyline will pick up later in the season. Bethenny insults Luann by finding it hilarious that Luann is Sonja’s mentor. The feud then continues as Bethenny rips into Luann accusing her of telling everyone Skinnygirl was her idea and it looks like this is where we will pick up next week (seriously Bethenny, you need to cool it with Skinnygirl this season!)