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RHOBH Recap: Kyle Richards Takes On The Wicked Witch Of Beverly Hills, Carlton Gebbia!

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We start tonight’s episode off with Lisa meeting with infamous party planner, Kevin Lee to plan a birthday party for both Ken and Mauricio. Kyle then joins them and it is like old times. I think Kyle and Lisa could really be great friends again. Kyle and Lisa want to throw a much more elegant party, especially after attending Carlton’s gross pool party. Lisa tells Kyle that Yolanda isn’t coming since she has her step daughter’s wedding to attend. Kyle is surprised that since Yolanda considers Lisa such a good friend — why wouldn’t she be invited to her daughters’ wedding. I agree. Kyle also jokes about the “dream team,” and again, her and Lisa making jokes makes me confident they’ll be friends again. When they discuss which other ladies will be invited, you can totally tell they edited what Kyle said in regards to the “dream team,” to make it look like she was saying it about Lisa. Fail.

Brandi is shooting the cover for her book, and she says she is happy that it’s not about her ex-husband. I read her first book, and A LOT of it was about Brandi too. Maybe she means he’s just not in the book at all this time? Anyways, she is trying on dresses, and they (the stylists) are really horrible at picking dresses. Clearly they don’t know Brandi, judging by the outfits they are picking out. Thankfully, Brandi had her editor, Nancy, there to straighten these “professional” stylists out. (Side note I get sad when I look at Brandi because her face, is no longer her face. She was a natural beauty who has gone too far with the fillers, and I don’t like it.) After trying different looks for her cover, they finally pick out a look for Brandi’s cover (Thanks to Nancy) and it looks gorgeous.

Carlton is meeting Joyce for lunch, and Joyce actually looks happy to see her, whereas Carlton, not so much. Joyce is being very polite and sweet to Carlton, and I think it pisses off Carlton that no matter how many mean things she says to Joyce (or Kyle) they still try to be the bigger person, and stay polite. The ladies order, and Carlton can’t help but be immature and give dirty looks to Joyce, and act uninterested. Carlton makes fun of Joyce because she doesn’t know what “flippancy” means, and I think that is disgusting. If Joyce was an unattractive hispanic whose second language was English, and worked in the fields, it would be an outrage what Carlton said. But since she’s an educated beauty queen, with English as her second language, it’s okay to put her down.

Joyce is trying to explain to Carlton that she respects everyone’s religion, and she just wants to make sure that Carlton is not following through on her threats, that she made to Joyce at Yolanda’s painting party. Carlton immediately gets offended that Joyce is repeating the threats that SHE (Carlton) made to her, and can’t believe that Joyce would even think that she should be worried. REALLY Carlton? Maybe because you threatened her with your hocus pocus, because she “challenged” you, is the reason she’s scared for her family. Carlton even says that you shouldn’t discuss politics and religion. I actually think you shouldn’t JUDGE someone’s political or religious beliefs, and there won’t be a problem.

Carlton says she wants to move forward, and Joyce tells her she does too, but she wants Carlton to understand that you can’t threaten someone, and then expect them not to worry about it. Carlton says she thinks Joyce is a good person, but she’s a little naive. Well, I don’t know how being naive can make someone hate you so much, they aren’t your problem, so get over it. I’d rather be friends with someone who is naive, than someone who is fake. Kim is getting a tattoo with her daughter Kimberly, and my gosh Kim’s daughter is beautiful. Yolanda is helping her daughter Gigi pack up for her move, and Yolanda is such a good mom. I can’t say it enough. Her kids are all so sweet, and calm. Also, I like how Yolanda is doing all the work, vs typical rich mom, having a housekeeper fold up Gigi’s stuff.

Lisa is at her house getting things ready for the party, and Kyle arrives. Lisa’s dog “Rumpy Pumpy” is running around, and he is the cutest thing. I love how wild he is, especially compared to calm statuesque Giggy. LOL Kyle wants a psychic and Kevin tells her no, but yet he wants water dancers. Lisa and Ken are getting ready, and Giggy is getting ready in his tux. I can’t even deal with how amazing this dog’s life is. LOL The caterers are in the kitchen, and Lisa’s backyard looks amazing. Lisa has Stassi and Scheana Marie (yes the same Scheana that slept with Brandi’s ex husband) working the party. I don’t know why Lisa would have Scheana of all people be there, but something tells me the producers made her, and I’m sure she’s not going to argue with the people in charge of her TWO shows.

The guests are all arriving and they all look gorgeous. Kyle is late, and she should be. She didn’t even get to pick anything out. Carlton is still stuck on her dream with Kyle talking about her, and it’s obvious she’s not going to let it go. Scheana is supposed to be working, but of course she’s trying to get camera time and show off her engagement ring. Brandi and Lisa are talking and Lisa tells Brandi to say something to Scheana about her getting engaged, and okay. I’m sorry you little Vanderpumpies, but that was WRONG. How can Lisa try to encourage Brandi to even acknowledge someone who was apart of the demise of her marriage? She should be lucky that Brandi is nice enough to say “hello,” and not make a scene when she sees her.

The water dancers come out and one of them almost falls down. It’s so embarrassing. They’re probably getting paid $1000 to just move their arms around. LOL Jax (from Vanderpump Rules) and Kevin Lee both get in the pool to make up for the bad entertainment. It’s now time to sit for dinner, and the setting is stunning. Kevin Lee is definitely talented. Ken gets up to make a toast and to acknowledge Mauricio. Ken really likes Mauricio and it’s sweet. Kyle makes a toast too, and it’s sweet until Brandi drops an “F-bomb” of course and makes it about HER. Oh Brandi. Can we just have ONE night? Lisa and Kyle are both laughing and making toasts to their husbands and Lisa is copying everything Kyle is doing, and it’s hilarious. Brandi isn’t happy about them becoming “BFF’s again, and something tells me, she’s going to think of a plan to stop it from happening.

OMG that singer and his guitar! That was the best thing ever. “Happy Biiiiirthday Boys!” LOL Everyone is having a good time at dinner and Brandi gets up to go to the bathroom and finds Ken in the hall talking to Stassi and Scheana. Scheana is being snippy with Brandi and then asks Brandi how she broke her hand. Ken jokes that Scheana is lucky that she didn’t break it from hitting Scheana, and Scheana uses that opportunity to show off her ring and point out how she knows Brandi isn’t really happy for her. Uhh.. why should she be Scheana? Would you be happy for the girl who slept with YOUR husband? Brandi is nice and says she doesn’t believe in marriage, but I think Brandi was thrown off that Scheana wasn’t kissing her butt anymore and was kind of rude to her.

Back at dinner everyone is having fun, and Ken jokes that Mauricio should do one of his “Jewish” dances, and Brandi even chimes in and sings, and it is funny. Carlton is glaring over at them, because she is Wiccan, and if you’re not Wiccan, you are stupid. Kyle is teasing Brandi about her date, since they are always on and off again. Pandora gives Ken a present and it’s a HUGE picture of Giggy. You can tell that’s the best birthday gift Ken has ever received. Kyle then tells Lisa to explain to Carlton how the “third of a nipple” comment was Lisa’s joke and not hers, since she got so much crap for it from Carlton. And here we go…

Carlton gets mad because Kyle keeps saying “her,” instead of Carlton. Next time, Kyle should just be honest and say IT, cause that’s really all the respect Carlton has shown for herself and others. Carlton’s husband chimes in how that’s disrespectful to refer to somebody as “her.” Kyle is still trying to be cool with Carlton and say that there were a lot of problems, but they worked them out, but of course, they haven’t according to Carlton. Carlton then brings up her dream about Kyle talking about her and says it was confirmed by someone at her party. Carlton’s friends said Kyle said Carlton’s bathroom was disgusting, which is a flat out lie. Kyle just said “eww” because someone did not flush their mess, they left in the toilet. BIG DIFFERENCE.

Kyle is shocked at everything Carlton is saying, because she really thought they were okay. I don’t think she would have invited Carlton if they weren’t. Kyle doesn’t get why Carlton is so angry, I mean, she has a great life. Kyle is explaining that it’s Mauricio’s birthday and Carlton flat out says she doesn’t care. WOWOWOW. The woman who gets so offended doesn’t care that she’s being rude and offensive at a dinner party, where hardly nobody knows her? I can’t even deal with how big of a hypocrite Carlton is. Then finally Kyle has just about had it, and throws an F-bomb which makes Carlton happy, because she’s been dying to throw some Kyle’s way.

Kyle doesn’t get what she’s done to Carlton and neither does anybody else. Kyle is sick of Carlton and her imaginary fights. Carlton is getting pissed because Kyle is trying to talk and Kyle is mad because she sees right through Carlton’s lies. Carlton reveals that the necklace she received from Kyle was put into distilled water to cleanse Kyle’s evil off it. Like seriously? This woman is a fraud, and I’m happy Kyle called out this phony for what she is. Even after it was confirmed by Lisa herself that the joke Carlton was mad about came from Lisa, she still chooses to be pissed off at Kyle for it because she said, “nipple” when she had nipples all over her party. Hypocrite. Kyle finally has had enough and tells Carlton to stop acting like a witch.

Carlton thinks that Kyle just handed her what she needed to be a victim and it’s funny. NOBODY is buying that Kyle has gone after Carlton, except Carlton. Kyle then brings up Carlton’s comments about the Star of David and says that obviously Carlton is “anti-semitic,” which sets Carlton off, because she finally feels like she has a real reason to hate Kyle. Carlton says Kyle labels, and starts calling her names. Kyle explains herself, but nope, Carlton needs this. She needs this fight, and will make sense out of nothing. Carlton thinks her point has been proven, but nobody else thinks so, and Carlton and her husband leave. Lisa goes after her and tries to explain that the star thing is a pretty pointless argument and an easy mistake.

Brandi chimes in and says that Carlton is trying to make something out of nothing and she is right. Everyone sees what Carlton is trying to do, and it’s pathetic.

I think Carlton desperately came onto this season wanting to be judged for being a witch, so she could win viewers over as the woman who was bullied for her beliefs. I think she got upset when it wasn’t happening, so she tried to make it happen, by creating fake drama about it. All in all, Carlton just proved more than ever tonight, what a fraud she is.

Thoughts on tonight’s episode? Let’s discuss!