RHOBH Recap: Luaus And Lies!


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We start tonight’s episode off with Kim and Kyle joining their daughters at a salon to get themselves “groomed.” LOL When they are together and getting along, they really are a lot of fun to watch. Carlton and Brandi, and some of Carlton’s friends are ready to take a pole dancing class. I’m actually surprised that Carlton has never tried this before. I would think she’d be a pole vet by now. Carlton is wasted, and she looks a mess. Brandi gets on the pole, and she instantly turns Carlton on. Carlton is so in love with Brandi, it’s very creepy. The always offended Carlton takes off her shorts to reveal her “F— Off” booty shorts. I seriously am positive she wore those just for Brandi.

Kim is getting ready for her daughter’s graduation party. I don’t know if that’s a natural tan Kim is rocking, but she still looks great. Everyone is arriving and they look beautiful. Joyce arrives and she looks, um. LOL I think Joyce is going to perform. Brandi and Carlton arrive, and Carlton is in the same smelly clothes she was in at the pole dancing class. I think it’s funny for someone that complains about people being ‘bloody rude,’ she decides that she’s going to eat in front of Kim’s house on the steps with Brandi, instead of going in first to greet the hostess and the graduation girl.

Kim’s ex arrives and he is kind of cute. Go Kim. Kyle arrives and Brandi says they have the same car. Umm…Am I missing something? I thought Brandi was a poor, single, mom? I want to be that kind of poor! Carlton and Brandi are ready to go inside and they really look like a mess. I’m sure if one of the ladies (like Kyle) were to show up to Carlton’s house, drunk and sloppy, and eat a burger on her steps before saying hello, Carlton would have a fit! Brandi is still complaining about feeling ill, so she leaves to the bathroom. Carlton says Joyce looks ridiculous at the party, but I’m more obsessed with how Carlton has SUCCESSFULLY managed to make the color BLACK, not match. All that money, and I have yet to see her in something cute. Carlton is still wasted at the party asking for alcohol. Joyce is surprised at how Carlton is acting.

Carlton admitted she watched the show before, so since Kim’s sobriety has been apart of every season, there is no denying that she knew all about it while acting so drunk and messy. Brandi is still feeling sick and running to the bathroom. She’s coughing and breathing loudly, and is ready to go. If that was Joyce, I wonder if Brandi would have called her a “famewhore?” Brandi stayed long enough to make the party about herself, and then she left. Sounds like she’s the one who really needs to always have the “attention” on her. Brandi leaving everything early and getting paid in full seems to be a pattern. Maybe the ladies should just always go to clubs from now on. I’m sure Brandi will stay all night at those. LOL

Kim is making her speech to her daughter, and it’s beautiful. I wish Kim had a husband. I think this would be a lot less hard on her, if she did. Lisa is at home gathering up all her beautiful dresses for girls in foster care. The girls need just about everything, so that’s exactly what Lisa is sending them. They are going to be so stylish with Lisa’s clothes. Lisa is calling all the girls to ask them for donations as well. I think it’s nice of all of them to be giving back to these girls. Brandi then calls Lisa, but all I can think about it if any of the girls in foster care are going to be able to fit into Brandi’s 3T club clothes. Brandi tells Lisa she wants to have a one-on-one with Joyce.

Joyce is getting ready to shoot her photos for Friend Movement, which is an anti-bullying campaign, and she looks beautiful. Lisa is getting ready to have the ladies over, and she really goes all out for them. Well, her and Rosia do. LOL Joyce arrives first and she brings over some prom dresses. Kim arrives second and she brought lots of stuff for the girls too. Kim brings up her daughter’s graduation and the fact that Lisa didn’t come. Lisa is trying to explain to Kim that she was in Missouri, but Kim isn’t buying it since her hairdresser told her otherwise. Lisa looks like she’s telling the truth, and to her credit, she works A LOT. I think the most out of all the girls. So, I think Lisa is allowed to forget about or not go to Kim’s daughter’s graduation. I don’t even think Kim has ever liked Lisa. I think she has just tolerated her because Lisa and Kyle were good friends.

After the graduation talk is over, there’s an awkward silence, and Ken says that he’s sure there’s a lot of things that Kim has missed, which is a dig at her never showing up to things because she was struggling with her sobriety. Lisa leaves to go answer the door, and Kim is not going to let Ken get away with saying that to her. She reprimands him for bringing that up, and I agree with her. Also, wasn’t Ken so adamant about Joyce’s husband NOT getting involved with the ladies’ quarrels? Lisa and Kim were both speaking in a normal tone, not fighting, and here Ken goes, “protecting,” his wife. Nothing was happening to Lisa for Ken to “protect” her. He is a hypocrite.

Brandi finally arrives with her dresses, and she says hi to both ladies. Kyle and her dog Roxy show up, and Lisa is terrified that Roxy might eat Giggy since he’s eaten a bunny before. I think Roxy is too loving to eat little Giggy up. LOL Brandi starts talking to Joyce and it looks like it is going to be a promising conversation, but then Brandi continues speaking. Brandi makes excuses for herself, and you can tell she’s not trying to be mature and end this fight. Brandi thinks her comment wasn’t racist, but it was stupid. Joyce is trying to get through to Brandi but Brandi keeps making excuses for herself and they’re getting nowhere. Brandi wanted Joyce to let her speak, but she isn’t letting Joyce speak. Brandi then starts her victim routine by saying that Joyce’s “labels” can effect her custody agreement. ERRRR…. No. Brandi YOU effect your custody agreement. Shame on you for trying to make someone else be responsible for that.

Kyle and Lisa are off on the yard with Roxy so the ladies can talk. Brandi won’t let Joyce talk, because Joyce is trying to make actual points to Brandi, and make sense. Brandi’s logic is “just deal with it, this is who I am.” Brandi tells Joyce that it’s not bullying to keep making comments towards her, it’s just her “being a bitch,” and that if she was a true bully, she would have “knocked her f—ing teeth out by now.” I think Brandi should worry about statements like that when she cries about her custody agreement. Kim steps in and tries telling Brandi that her behavior was a bit much in Palm Springs and she should apologize. Brandi said she’s not sorry and she hasn’t received an apology so she’s not going to apologize? ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?! How do you expect an apology from someone you admittedly just told you were purposely being a bitch to?

Carlton arrives, and she is ready to defend her girlfriend Brandi. She tells Joyce that she has no right putting labels on Brandi, and Joyce puts her in her place. Carlton has no right speaking about anything and should go back to playing with her nanny. Lisa and Kyle are playing in the water, and I miss them being friends, but as you can see from Brandi’s comments, she sure doesn’t. Brandi and her cracked voice (she sounds like she’s going to cry) goes over to the ladies and gives another lame apology and turns it into about herself being labeled, and Joyce is the bigger person and gives her a hug, which grosses Brandi out, cause she really didn’t mean the apology and still plans on hating her and making comments about everything she does. Brandi also says she will be kind to her moving forward, LOL well we all know how THAT ended.

Next week, the ladies take it out in the ring, and it looks like the beginning of the end of Brandi and Lisa’s friendship begins!

What did you think of tonight’s episode? Let’s discuss!

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