RHOBH Recap: Team Vanderpump Attack The Rest Of The Ladies And Then Cry Victim


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We start tonight’s episode off with Brandi and her friends celebrating her new place and new book deal. She then asks them for their advice on what they like in the bedroom. Brandi’s “choking out” in the bedroom method, is definitely Melissa Gorga esq. Over at Joyce’s, she is packing to look her best for Palm Springs. I like how happy playing dress up makes Joyce. She really needs a daughter. Kyle is meeting Carlton to shop for Palm Springs. Carlton looks annoyed that Kyle is still alive, especially when the sales girl is complimenting Kyle’s body. Kyle is trying to apologize to Carlton and Carlton isn’t buying it. She uses that opportunity to tell Kyle everything she’s done wrong. And it is the most pettiest thing I’ve ever had to listen to, and I hate that I’m blogging it now. Petty, petty, petty. The end result is Carlton fake moves on, ’cause duh, Kyle walked away again. LOL Kyle really has perfect timing.

Joyce arrives to Kyle’s house to pick up her and Kim to head to Palm Springs. Kim has reallllly overpacked. Juicer and all. LOL The girls are all chatting in the limo and having fun. Over in Lisa’s car, she and Carlton are talking about knowing nothing about Joyce, except a few jokes she’s told. Brandi and Yolanda are sharing a car and Brandi says her plan is to kill Joyce with kindness…We’ll see how that worked out later. Yolanda jokes with Carlton calling her everything from “Blackie” and “Catty.” God I wish it was Kyle who would’ve suggested those names, ’cause I’m sure Carlton would have gone crazy.

Joyce, Kyle and Kim arrive first at the colony. It’s so beautiful. The ladies are getting a tour of the rooms and they are all nice. Kyle takes the biggest room with the mountain in it. LOL Lisa and Carlton finally arrive and they think they are there first, and Lisa thinks she’s going to score the best room. Lisa is such a baby and you can see she is annoyed. Do these ladies expect their own mansions when they are on vacation? The rest of the ladies arrive and they are complaining about their rooms. For Yolanda growing up so poor and humble, she is showing her true colors over wrinkled sheets.

The ladies are getting ready to head to the pool. They then go and start off relaxing and laying out. Then Brandi decides to purposely call Joyce “Jacqueline.” Joyce graciously corrects her, then Brandi uses the opportunity to say it’s like her Grandma’s name and continues to keep calling her Jacqueline. Carlton is showing her tattoos, and they are, um, interesting. In between that, Kim seriously has the FUNNIEST interview scenes. I honestly think the ladies should do what Carlton does and roll their eyes the whole time she speaks. Brandi announces that she and Carlton have a friendship kiss. Yolanda is implying that Joyce is a bad hostess because she won’t get in the pool. Then Brandi jumps in and keeps the peer pressure going. Kyle tries to jokingly suggest to stop the peer pressure, and of course Carlton is offended.

The subject then changes to Joyce not being able to swim, and that’s when Brandi makes the most ignorant comment ever. I don’t get how it processes in Brandi’s head that she can shrug her shoulders and and smile like she didn’t do anything wrong. I wonder if any of those “black people” who can’t swim are going to buy her new book? Again, stupid. Anyways, the ladies are finally ready to eat dinner. Joyce is trying to be welcoming and telling the ladies they can sit wherever they’d like, but Host Sergeant, Yolanda, doesn’t approve. The ladies seem like they are having fun joking about skinny dipping. Brandi continues to act like a 10 year old and call Joyce, Jacqueline. Brandi then admits in her interview that she’s doing it on purpose cause she thinks Joyce is annoying. Um, I’m sure the feeling is mutual. Brandi is reaching for a fight, and she is showing what a terrible actress she is at it.

Poor Joyce is still staying so gracious and quiet, and after being told to go “F herself,” by Brandi. I think Brandi needs to re-watch everything she cried about Season 2 and 3, and sit down. Lisa tries going after Joyce because she doesn’t like a certain name that Brandi called her, since she used to be teased about it when she was younger. Yolanda thinks because she’s married well, TWICE, that she owns any conversation. She is being so rude to Joyce and Kyle. Kyle calls out the other ladies for acting like a team, and Lisa tries scolding her for it. Brandi then butts in and crazily looks at Kyle like “How dare you for acting like this.” Oh yeah, she then calls her an asshole… To be continued.

I used to feel really bad for Brandi, and feel sorry for her, but I can’t support a drunk victim. I don’t wanna hear an excuse for why you can’t be an adult. Brandi needs to humble herself, and do it, QUICK! I know some people have commented saying they hate Joyce, and I’m still waiting to see what they’re talking about. All I’ve seen is a bubbly girl being nice. HOW AWFUL! Le sigh. Anyways, what did you think of tonight’s episode? Do you feel differently about any of the ladies now? Let’s discuss!

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