RHOM Recap: The Ladies Try Letting Go Of The Past!


On this week’s Real Housewives of Miami, the ladies kept it drama-free – but we’re sure that won’t last long! There were some glimmers of hope here and there, but the recurring theme for all was the past! Let’s get to the rundown:

Adriana and Joanna meet because after Frederic and Romain made amends, it was the ladies’ turn! This is entirely stupid in my opinion, because in the first episode Adriana and Joanna agreed to move forward and agreed they had no real beef. The whole Romain and Frederic exchange happened but that was it, so what is there to resolve now? They don’t like each other, who cares?

Adriana and Frederic arrive an hour late, and they agree to move forward and not fight. Mmmmhm…

While Lisa takes care of her hubby Lenny who is recovering from lipo (say what!?), Alexia helps Marysol clean and prepare for Mama Elsa’s home coming! They burn sage and douse the place with holy water. Even if Marysol gets high off sage, she is making sure the home is ready for Elsa. Cute! Alexia and Marysol talk about how although they aren’t friends anymore, Lea never bothered to check on how Elsa was doing. I sense a confrontation coming up soon!

We are also introduced to Marysol’s dad this episode. It turns out he just divorced Mama Elsa recently, which we never really knew because he’s always been away from the cameras. Marysol goes through photos with him and it brings her to tears seeing Elsa in better times when her health was much better. When Mama Elsa comes back, she makes her hilarious comments and all seems normal on RHOM, but she does seem tired and like she has some work to do. It’s sad, and we hope Elsa is back to her crazy and fun self soon!

Alexia hashes the storyline with her troubled son yet again. We talk about Peter’s dad being a troubled convict yet again and then Alexia reveals this all to Peter, who apparently didn’t know this is the reason his dad wasn’t around. I don’t believe for a second didn’t already know all this crap about his dad. It’s just a quick Google search away. Lame. Next.

Adriana goes for a pre-wedding chat with her pastor. She bares her past and unveils that as a child, her father cheated on her mother, which has left her traumatized. Adriana was also cheated on badly by her ex-husband and basically dumped with nothing by him. Adriana says this is why she has issues trusting men. Again…Zzzzzz.

Joanna and Romain head to sex therapy, this time together. The therapist assigns them homework since apparently the two lovebirds aren’t enough for each other. To me, this is just red, blood red, flags all over the place. This is a very attractive couple who are bi-coastal and don’t see each other for days at a time. Their sex drive should be at a high, and instead, Romain isn’t into Joanna? Something in the milk ain’t clean here.

Fake storyline? If so, Romain has huge balls embarrassing himself like that on TV!

Joanna and Romain adapt their roles for the role play the therapist assigned and head to a bar. It’s ridiculous but hilarious! The two “strangers” (a Russian ballerina and a pilot) head to a hotel after drinks and put on a show for the cameras. Kind of embarrassing but entertaining for us. In the end, Romain just wants to play Wii. Epic fail.

Adriana has a bachelorette party with the gals, but instead of the usual penis and crazy drunken antics, this is the lamest party on Earth. Someone should have invited Tamra and Vicki here. First of all it’s just Lisa, Marysol, Alexia and Lauren Foster. With lingerie hanging from the ceiling. At Adriana’s house. She then turns this into a therapeutic, ritualistic deal where she whips out her wedding dress from her marriage license which was actually a wedding days four years ago and burns it to let go of, you guessed it, the past.

Pretty tame episode (minus the dominatrix action!) but next week Lea and Marysol square off again! Apparently Marysol confronts Lea about not checking in about Elsa, but why now? She has run into Lea all season long. I guess we will found out then but for now let’s discuss this week’s episode!

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