Adriana De Moura Alexia Echevarria Ana Quincoces Joanna Krupa Karent Sierra Lea Black Let's Discuss: Lisa Hochstein Marysol Patton The Real Housewives of Miami - RHOM

RHOM Recap: “Sexting Candles”

This week on Real Housewives of Miami the ladies are in for a very dramatic time! It is Alexia’s Venue Magazine cover party and most of the ladies are present. Karent arrives and obviously heads straight for the red carpet – this girl is almost as bad as Melissa Gorga when it comes to their love of a step and repeat. She is posing for pictures with everyone – publicist in tow – and chatting everyone up flashing them her flawless veneers. I still don’t see the malice in what she does, but the more they talk about it, the more annoying Karent comes off.

Mama Elsa and Adriana sit together on a terrace at the venue. Elaine, Lea’s drag queen sidekick, shows up and Elsa gives her attitude because of what she has said about Marysol throughout the season so far. Elsa is mad that Elaine has been badmouthing Marysol about what happened at a red carpet and although Elsa is clearly mad, I can’t help but laugh. This woman is too funny!  Drama right off the bat – the ladies are not wasting any time in this episode. Elsa threatens Elaine, “I will hit you with my pocketbook!” and it’s officially on my list of favorite Housewives quotes. (“Do not. bring up. my family!” and “I’m very rich bitch!” are also on that list, in case you were wondering.) Bottom line, don’t mess with Mama Elsa!

Lea sits down next to Marysol and brings up their red carpet drama which is kind of useless and boring. Unless they’re going to bitch themselves out over it, I’m tired of this conflict being dragged out this far. Lea tries to make it seem like they’re fine and dandy and any animosity should just evaporate right at that moment. She invites Marysol to her gala this year but Marysol brings up that Lea made a green card joke about Phillipe, Marysol’s husband who she is currently separated from. Marysol is hurt because her ex-husband is still a very sensitive topic for her.

Lea tries to cover her ass by saying that in Miami it’s a joke that everyone needs a green card. Marysol says Lea’s invite was wrapped in an insult and she moves over to Ana and Alexia’s couch. Adriana is by herself – until Karent comes to join the girls. Adriana pulls Karent aside to talk and that’s when the first catfight of the season begins. Let the claws come out!

Adriana thinks she’s doing a good deed by telling Karent what she thinks to her face. Adriana lists all the things about Karent that are annoying her: being oblivious to situations, bulldozing through moments, famewhoring ways, etc. “Beat me to the tweet” from the gallery even comes up. Adriana tells Karent that her need for the lime light so much makes her not likeable.

Alexia walks over and gets involved in the discussion. Alexia and Adriana are not letting Karent talk and I feel kind of bad for her! Attention whores have hearts too. Karent holds her own, however. Adriana and Alexia are looking like high school catty girls right now. Karent is a copycat. Why does she have a publicist?! Oh, now she’s an actress? She’s a spokesperson for Colgate? In this moment, Alexia and Adriana are coming off as jealous of Karent. It’s like a deleted scene from Mean Girls but with spicy, bitchy latinas.

Karent is obviously upset at this point and wonders why Alexia is being a bitch when all she has done is wish Alexia and her son well since his car accident. This pushes Alexia over the edge and she blows up. She kicks Karent out and Karent politely says goodbye to all the girls. Here is Karent thinking she is taking the high road and then her bloomers are exposed. Marysol snarks that “we’re a fashionable group – we don’t wear bloomers.” Again, Mean Girls.

Ana is at work with her estranged husband/law partner Robert. Since they are in the middle of divorcing, he wants to split the law firm into two so they go their separate ways. Ana is worried that he will get a huge case and make tons of money and she won’t see any of it. Ana tells Robert he needs a prenup if he is going to re-marry. It sounds like she’s being a bitch but I think she just truly still cares and is having issues letting go of the wife role she had with Robert.

Ana visits Alexia who is at home with her son Frankie. Frankie is recovering from a terrible car accident that almost took his life. Alexia tells Ana about the process he’s been going through and she breaks down into tears. Ana and Alexia are upset that Karent would bring up Frankie because of how hard this has been on her. They believe Karent should have apologized for bringing up Frankie and the girls determine that Karent doesn’t even know who she is which is why she acts how she acts.

Joanna is sitting in her Miami Beach high rise apartment and is on Romain’s laptop – which turns out to be not a very good idea. She calls Marta on the phone and reveals that she is reading texts that Romain had exchanged with a dancer. There are photos of a getaway they were planning and he even told the dancer that they would be together by the end of the year. All of a sudden, Romain’s distance makes sense to Joanna.

Ana is taking on a “big sister” role for Joanna and they take to the grocery store to talk Joanna’s drama with Romain and what she found on his laptop. Ana tells her that doing nice things is usually a good way to rekindle troubled relationships. She basically tells Joanna that men need attention and Joanna decides to cook a dinner to win Romain back and make it work. Ummm…hello, he’s cheating on you??

Back at her apartment, Joanna tells Marta that unless he f*cked the girl, she will try to make it work. To each their own, is what I say. Joanna and Marta fight in the kitchen because she ruined the meal. They bicker and Joanna is treating Marta like a stepchild. It’s kind of tragic. It’s not Marta’s fault Joanna is being cheated on. Stop being a bitch to her. Joanna is failing so hard at this cooking thing so she calls Ana for some tips since this is Ana’s recipe after all. Marta heads back to Lisa’s where she is now living temporarily and Joanna continues to prepare this romantic dinner for Romain who is cheating on her.

Romain comes home and instead of Joanna cutting his balls off for cheating on her, she serves him a dinner for two. I am not sure how she can do this right now. All she hints at is that they both “need to try harder.” After some beating around the bush, Joanna FINALLY breaks down and tells Romain she snooped through his laptop and found some incriminating chats with this dancer chick. Romain confesses he wanted to break up with Joanna and he wanted to do it by hooking up with this girl. Cowardly much?

It turns out that this all happened while Joanna was being selfish and focusing on herself instead of her relationship. Romain says he did not hook up with the girl and that he still loves Joanna. He tells Joanna he wants to keep her and rebuild their trust, but that they have to make more time for each other. Joanna agrees to put her best foot forward and the episode ends.

At the end we were given a short preview of what’s to come for the rest of the season and I can’t wait! It looks like there will be a lot of confrontation amongst these ladies including a bitch slap from Adriana to Joanna. Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis even finds himself in the middle of some drama. People getting thrown in pools. Sweet little Lisa bitching the girls out for their antics. It’s about to sizzle in Miami!

What did you think of this week’s episode? Thoughts on the Adriana/Alexia vs. Karent argument? Do you think Joanna was too easy on Romain after finding the evidence that he was cheating? Let’s discuss!

About the author


Roxanne Jajo created All About The Real Housewives in November, 2011, to keep fans up to date with all their Real Housewives news. Roxanne resides in Detroit, Michigan and works full time as a recruiter in the HR department at Quicken Loans. In December 2014, Roxanne came out with her first fictional novel, ‘Shattered Depiction. Roxanne works on the website on a daily basis in order to bring fans of the show the most exciting and captivating stories of all of their favorite (and not so favorite) reality TV stars. Roxanne is very thankful to all the readers and commenters who have continued to support the website.

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