Kandi Burruss Wants People To Know That She Isn’t Afraid To Speak Her Mind To Mama Joyce!

December 2, 2013 | By | 54 Replies Continue Reading

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In last night’s episode, Kandi took a lot of heat on social media for not standing up to her mom (Mama Joyce), when her mom was going off on her fiance, Todd Tucker. Well, Kandi, has taken to her blog, to let viewers know that she does stand up to her mom, she just does it in a way that isn’t disrespectful. Check out what Kandi had to say

Well tonight’s episode was a little hard to watch. So many of you tweet about how you think I should deal with my mom. I love my mom, and I will always give her the utmost respect. I know she can be a little tough, but I believe she really does want the best for me even if I don’t like the way she goes about it. I’ve told her a million times that I’m not getting married without a pre-nup. Todd and I already agreed that we were doing one, but I don’t know why she feels like she has to be the one he negotiates it with. Todd did his best to not be disrespectful to my mom no matter what she said to him, which I’m thankful for, but he is more than a little tired of the drama though…

Everyone says stand up to your mama and blah, blah, blah, but believe it or not I do speak my mind to my mother. I just don’t say it in some crazy disrespectful way, because she is my mother. So to everyone who is screaming at me through the TV screen to “do something about my mom,” I’m not sure exactly what you expect me to do. I can only say how I feel, and if she doesn’t listen to me, then what? I don’t agree with my friend Carmon on how she said she would handle it if it were her mom. I don’t believe in cutting off your relationship with your mom. So for now I’m just hoping that over time things will work out for the best.

Much love,
Kandi

I understand what Kandi is saying about not being disrespectful, but her not setting Mama Joyce straight IS disrespectful towards Todd. She needs to woman up and give her mom an ultimatum. She’s not a little girl anymore. If I were Kandi, I would be more worried about Mama Joyce’s obsession with my money, not Todd. She takes advantage of Kandi being so nice with her. Kandi better figure out a way to handle her mom, or she is going to end up alone with only her mom. (which in a weird way, probably what Mama Joyce would love LOL). The only opinion Kandi should be worried about, is the opinion of her daughter Riley. What do you guys think? How do you think Kandi should handle Mama Joyce?

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Category: Kandi Burruss, RHOA

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  1. Chelle says:

    You don’t have to be disrespectful to draw boundaries. It’s healthy, and often necessary. Especially with emotionally manipulative relatives.

    • JD says:

      I definitely agree, BUT Kandi’s mother is VERY disrespectful to her and her fiancee. Kandi should thank God that Todd is not someone who would readily disrespect anyone (which i believe Joyce secretly want Todd to do), and Kandi is LYING when she said she stood up to her mom, because if she REALLY did, her mother would have been OUT of her business A LONG TIME AGO.

      • Lapband Lauren says:

        I think she wants todd to explode too and he isnt giving her that. Props to todd for being quiet yet expressing his feelings and wanting to fix his relationship with joyce. I wouldnt do it. I cant take bullshit from people especially when I did nothing wrong. Joyce is sticking her nose in every aspect of kandis relationship and the sad part id Kandi is allowing it

      • Heather says:

        AMEN! You said it. Is anyone seeing a pattern with Mamma Joyce? She didn’t like AJ either. She said all he wanted was her money. At one point on this episode, she said Todd was just there for the money and then in the next sentence she was talking about how he is frugal. Kandi picked the ring out herself…does she not get that? Didn’t Kandi GAVE her a house…and is probably footing the bill to remodel.I think Mamma Joyce is afraid that if Kandi gets married HER gravy (money) train will end.

        • Aja says:

          Yes 1,000 times, yes. Kandi’s success has afforded her mama a great life and she doesn’t want anyone else to have any opinions or claim to change that. I am all for respecting your parents, but the husband-wife relationship comes FIRST. And if Kandi is serious about marrying Todd, she needs to be serious about making him #1. Not always easy, but it’s the way it should be.

      • RobinR says:

        Joyce is following the faux bravo script (for cash) IMHO, and it makes all of them look ignorant.

      • Chelle says:

        Agreed on all counts. Joyce was very disrespectful to Todd, not to mention this was in his own home. I also agree that she wanted to provoke him. The only thing she succeeded in proving is that she’s got an unhealthy interest in her daughter’s finances. Kandi’s being manipulated, for sure.

    • Mego the Lying stripper says:

      What you just said in your blog. Times 100.

    • What Had Happened says:

      That’s my thought…you set boundaries…nothing disrespectful about that…

      Joyce is upset because no man has ever worked out for her……she thinks she is actually protecting her but she is harming her…Kandi is pushing 40…she doesn’t want anyone getting any money but her and a little for Riley…

    • Buck Henry says:

      Kandi is a fool, she should have defended Todd that whole night but she didn’t. She allowed her mom to call him cheap, below her daughter (what was Kandi and her mom doing over 20 years ago, where they worth 35 million dollars or struggling) this woman is a moron. I wonder where Kandi’s mother’s father and step father are in Joyce’s life. I guess it must be their fault that they aren’t married to the mother anymore. Not the mother’s fault right.

      Also Kandi what happened to your baby’s daddy? Why didn’t you stay with him? A whole bunch of bad luck and bad men right. Kandi will hate her mother one day when it dawns on her that for good or for bad it’s her decision not her mothers.

    • Mandy says:

      I agree. When you become married or even engaged, your priorities change. A good mother would recognize that and know that it’s not unusual. I know Mama Joyce seems to be a good mother, but she is not portraying herself to be that way on TV. She is acting all sorts of crazy and seems to be the moocher more than Todd! Why doesn’t she see that her daughter paying giving her her house and etc is the gravy train and not Todd? It seems to me, the outsider looking in, that Mama Joyce is concerned her paycheck has an end date… Just sayin…

  2. jen says:

    Sorry but I don’t see her mom being disrespectful. She is looking out for her daughter and thats what any mom would do. Her mother isn’t the only saying this either. I don’t believe she should cut her mom off because her mom will be her mom forever Todd may be her lover/husband for a short time.

    • Lapband Lauren says:

      Joyce has no proof to have her feelings be the way they are about Todd. It is all hear say and instead of protecting her daughter, she’s grabbing a seat and listening to the dirt. If thats even true. Joyce looks and sounds unstable to me and next weeks episode is proof to that when she pretebds its an episode of jerry springer trying to fight carmon at a bridal salon. No class.

      • jen says:

        It may be hear say and he may be a great guy but if there were rumors flying around about my daughters fiance yes I would listen. Not only are there rumors but this guy is also or was also saying he’s not signing anything. to me he is looking out for himself and a payday if things don’t work out. He came into this relationship with nothing so if he was so in love her he would sign.Her mom may also be bat shit crazy or maybe they struggled alot years ago when Kandi was a kid and she doesn’t want to see her daughter have to struggle again.

        • Lapband Lauren says:

          What does him signing a prenup have to do with Joyce? Both of them agreed to sign a prenup. He doesnt need to have a conversation with joyce about money that she did not make.

    • Mego the Lying stripper says:

      Her Mom is sucking off of her like she is entitled to it. She thinks of her daughter as her personal ATM machine. It is grotesque.

      • PixNTrix says:

        ITA Mego, Joyce is being a money hungry bitch!!! She is only looking out for herself and not what is best for Kandi. Kandi is going to end up alone and bitter just like her mother if she doesn’t grow some balls and tell her mother to butt out. I can understand wanting what’s best for your child, but speak your mind privately to your child. If they take the advice great if not Kandi is a grown woman and can make decision all on her own.

    • EJJ says:

      IMO her mother is being TOTALLY disrespectful. I understand that as a mother you want the best for your children. However, with that being said, Kandi is obviously, clearly a responsible adult who makes pretty sound/wise decisions when it comes to her money. Kandi has that under control. Kandi is not a teenager who doesn’t have experience in relationships and needs to have her hand held. As a mother you can voice your opinion over and over but, at the end of the day it’s just your opinion. Kandi and Todd are in a relationship and if Kandi is comfortable with how Todd contributes and vice versa, why should Joyce continue to harp on it and make the situation worse? The way Joyce conducted herself on last nights episode and in the preview of the next episode is tacky, classless and embarrassing. So far I haven’t seen Todd loose his cool and he has tried to be nothing but respectful. I would take me everything not to tell her to fuck off lol, in nicer words though.

    • TEAM FAIR says:

      WOW! Really, you don’t believe that Ms. Joyce?(refuse to call her Mama because she is NOT acting like a mother)

      A mother has every right to be concern about her daughter and the man she is involved with. However, there is a way to speak to your daughter has well as her fiance WITHOUT being rude, abrasive and disrespectful. Ms. Joyce delivery is COMPLETELY wrong; and this delivery puts Todd on the defense.

  3. DebV says:

    Let’s get real …. how can anyone tell Kandi how to treat HER mom?

    My mom passed away 22 years ago and sometimes I still stop to question in my mind what she would think about certain things. A mother’s opinion does matter! It is refreshing to see that Kandi remains respectful despite their disagreements.

    • dch60 says:

      The way Kandi’s mom was acting… you can’t expect people not to have opinions.

      A mother opinion matters, however, Kandi’s mother is being paranoid and actually, elitist. Just because it’s Kandi’s mother, I don’t think Kandi should allow her to be so up in her business when Kandi obviously has her stuff together. It’s not up to Kandi’s mother to “choose” her relationships. It’s hard to believe that anyone who watched what happened last night couldn’t see that Kandi’s mother went completely overboard and could easily chase Todd away. That was NOT normal behavior for any mother.

    • dch60 says:

      btw… my mom died eight years ago. She would never have disrespected me and my fiance in the way Kandi’s mother did. NEVER.

  4. Jaime says:

    No disrespect at all…but it was hard to watch Mama Joyce last night. To me…she came across as really mean and nasty. Did anyone see the promo for next week? Yikes! I think I lost some respect for mama Joyce last night :(

    • Lapband Lauren says:

      Her behavior at the dinner table was bizzare and kind of scary. I don’t think she’s okay up “there.” shes taking things to the next level by trying to get violent with her daughters friend. Its really sad.

    • Maru the Cat says:

      I felt really uncomfortable watching too. I don’t mind Joyce admitting she doesn’t trust Todd yet, but she went on and on about it. Yikes.

      Wasn’t it just 2 or 3 seasons ago she told Nene & Kim to get over their fued? I thought she was more of a neutral person. Wish the Braxton Mom, Evelyn, would talk with Joyce, she has dealt with a lot of issues with her daughters, but seems loving and fair. Isn’t she a life coach in Atlanta? That would be nice if they had a few sessions.

      Todd gets high marks for the respect and restraint shown.

      • shadonna says:

        I agree, I love Mrs. Evelyn! She seems fair with all her kids and she doesn’t disrespect their relationships (on camera atleast). Ms. Joyce is doing too much.

  5. Lapband Lauren says:

    Joyce has crossed the line by listening to gossip instead of sticking up for her daughter, and future son in law.

    At this point Joyce will do or say anything to break them up. She knows its working on Todd. I respect Todd for having respect for Joyce because if it were me, I wouldve been stating many opinions against joyce.

    So now Joyce is going to everyones yards and pouring herself some Iced tea and listening to “people” talk about carmon?? Joyce needs to sit down and Kandi is lying when she says she tells her mom how she feels. The week before that it looked like Joyce left Kandi in tears and Kandi couldnt say anything. Kandi and joyce are permanently stuck up each others own ass. Joyce never cut the cord with her daughter so she wont allow her daughter to start her own family because Kandi is her husband and her supplier of money. Once kandi is married, who will be her husband?

    • Katrina says:

      Mama Joyce was at home taking care of Riley, so Kandi could tour and make money.

      • Lapband Lauren says:

        So? And in return kandi has taken care of her mother money wise so joyce doesnt have to go work at burger king. There comes a time when you need to allow your grown ass adult kid to have a relationship and make her own choices in life. Joyce is NOT kandis manager to overlook her finances or make sure Kandi signs a prenup. Joyce is worried about Joyce thats all.

  6. michers says:

    I just feel that whenever Kandi has a man, her and her Mother are annoying to watch. Its the same song and dance every time she has a boyfriend/fiancé’! Is this a storyline? If not, WOW.. Over it.

  7. SA says:

    Kandi’s mom controls her and I think since they have always been so close that Kandi has just gotten used to this overprotection. But Mama Joyce needs a man and her own money…I’m sure Bravo gave her a nice chunk of change this season for bringing the drama! I did read on an Atlanta website that at the premeire of Kandi & Todd’s play..Mama Joyce was seen hugging Todd’s mother and making amends with Todd…so this may just be Bravo amping up the drama..and Mama Joyce is is down with that;)

  8. zoeysmom says:

    At some point some of Joyce’s attitude must be amped up for the show. I can see where Joyce has probably been instrumental in keeping Kandi from making some mistakes in the romance department and for that Kandi respects her opinion.

    I just think Joyce is easily influenced by negative words from those who don’t know squat. IIRC the other women at the Reunion had similar things to say about Todd and his finances.

    If Todd loves Kandi and Riley it should not matter if he is the provider. Kandi makes a good living and should be able to spend her money any way she sees fit. It may be hard for Joyce to grasp but good people aren’t always the richest or most ambitious.

    I do respect Kandi’s feelings towards respecting her mom-that is a gift she can pass on to Riley.

    • Bryn says:

      She is influenced by negative words from rumors and also influenced by bravo producers. Can’t help but think most of this is bravo BS.

  9. DebV says:

    Mama Joyce is currently trending on Twitter!

  10. Lynda says:

    Mama Joyce sickened me last night. All that talk about Todd needing to be the provider and then talking about “what we have become accustomed to” just made me want to punch her. Kandi is letting her live in her old house and she makes sure that her mother is taken care of, but her mom is coming off as greedy. Is she afraid that Todd will make Kandi stop taking care of her mother? Who knows? It just seems that she only wants Kandi to take care of her and no one else.

  11. Texas thoughts says:

    Kandi has not set boundaries that should have been done long ago. Her mother is very disrespectful to her relationship. Fair enough she should bring up her concerns but should back off. Kandi has stated she us doing a prenup. What does her mother want? Attention? Control over her daughter?

    What she is achieving is ruining a wedding that should be fun. Todd has proven to be kind and loving. Very few people make the money Kandi does and money is not everything. Her mom is out of line and Kandi is proving to be weak and not respecting her man. It won’t change because she and her mom laugh about it. Not funny. He is handling it real well. I wouldn’t I would move on.

  12. Larry says:

    Mama Joyce seems to dislike Todd because she sees him as a threat to her personal security. She can yell at Kandi that she’s worried about her but the subtext of everything she’s saying is WHAT ABOUT ME? After two episodes of this, I would advise Kandi to show the old bag the view from the roof and push her off.

  13. RHOAmbler says:

    The biggest insult is that her mother implies that men only want Kandi for her money.

    • Bryn says:

      RHOAmbler, Agree with that statement 100%.

    • Texas thoughts says:

      You r right! Her friend said this is constantly being done. Sad. Kandi needs to reevaluate the way she handles her mom.

      I don’t blame her for spoiling her mom and they do love each other but to me it looks like her mom is being dustructive and not thinking of her daughters happiness.

    • Maru the Cat says:

      Sad, but very true, and even her long time friends like Carmon.

  14. Just me says:

    This episode made me sick. Mama Joyce looked desperate & a little um, not all there ? Todd didn’t give into her drama, kudos to him. But Kandi ? Todd won’t take that sort of disrespect for very long, and nor should he. So I’d behaving a very long chat with Mama Joyce about boundaries and her disrespectful behavior. Good luck, I’d love to see you & Todd happy together.

  15. barb says:

    Todd is on the rise in his career. Kandi would be a dope to lose him over her mama issues. There are a lot of women who would view Todd as a very good catch. I’m sure many are eye balling him now in case he gets tired of being hated on that way.

  16. IBS says:

    I wonder if Riley was at the table too, do you think Joyce would have reacted as she did? I doubt it very
    much.

    Kandi should not rush things.

    I also remember a time when Todd said he Would Not sign a pre-nup. Am I wrong or is this from another
    HW show. They’re all the same.

  17. Lady says:

    I think her mother is a disgrace. Anyone that acts the way she does disgust me. Absolutely no class at all. Plus it is NONE

  18. Lady says:

    I think her mother is a disgrace. Anyone that acts the way she does disgust me. Absolutely no class at all. Plus it is NONE OF HER BUSINESS. I cannot even stand listening to her carry on anymore.

  19. Rosie says:

    Your mama wants all the money for herself! She is selfish and thinks that if something happened to you….Todd would get all your money. Your mama is a lazy women…sucking off you all these years and yet worries that Todd is after your money. I have never seen such a selfish mother in all my life. She worries about you giving her a house and tells you to put in the pre-nup that Todd can’t toss her out of the home you gave her. Your mama Joyce needs to be put in her place. She destroys all your relationships because she wants YOUR MONEY!!!!

  20. Deborah says:

    Good luck with that!

  21. Truthfulheart says:

    She’s never going to have a meaningful relationship with ANYONE because her mother is way too involved in her personal life. I don’t know if momma Joyce’s outbursts were scripted, but, nonetheless, her behavior was completely inappropriate. I commend Todd for keeping his composure, cause had it been me, I would have told mommy dearest to back the fugg up! Just sayin. :9)

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