Gretchen Answers If She Has Chosen Tamra Over Alexis Plus More!
RHOC star Gretchen Rossi hasn’t been blogging but decided to answer viewers questions once and for all this week! Gretchen answers why she chose Tamra over Alexis plus explains why she has brought things up on camera!!
“Change happened a lot this season — my relationship with Tamra, my relationship with Alexis, the growing pains that Slade and I went through, my fight and make-up with Vicki, and a new gal joined the group! You guys were right there with me every step of the way. Thank you for your kind messages, support, understanding, and even questioning of some of my actions this season. I read and listen to all of your feedback, good or bad, because that is how I learn to be a better person, friend, and partner.
I never have nor will I ever claim to know everything, but this is what I know for sure: no matter how it might come across at times, I am a very loyal friend and partner — sometimes to a fault. I believe in the best in everyone, even if it hurts me, and I want to see everyone happy. I wish no ill will towards any of the woman, and I pray and hope every single one of us is successful, blessed, and happy in our own ways.
With that said I will make a couple points about some questions I keep getting from the fans.
Let’s start with one of the most popular questions: Why have I chosen Tamra over Alexis? The fact of the matter is there was never a choice to be made. I never needed to only be friends with Tamra or only Alexis. One simply does not affect the other, at least from my point of view. I do believe however that by choosing to forgive and move on with Tamra it changed how Alexis acted towards me. She started to challenge everything I did or didn’t do. I was always doing something wrong in her eyes from that day forward. I finally had to realize and ask myself If Alexis really was such a close friend of mine? Because the truth is, if she really was and really knew me then she never would have questioned if I had her best interest at heart. I am still very close with my friends from high school and college and they never would have thought the things Alexis thought I was out to do to her. I had to come to grips with that truth and it has made me very sad. Unfortunately, I don’t want or need friends like that in my life.
And so here is what I know for sure: I know that I never changed towards Alexis. I was the same friend I have always been — straight-forward, honest, and fair (rules apply both ways). I say this because Alexis always asked to stay out of the fight with Tamra and I. She said she wanted to stay neutral and that we both had good points. Well when the tables are turned her same rules don’t apply to me and that bothers me. I really wanted nothing more than to stay out of their fight this season. Think about it, you don’t see me running around with the other ladies talking smack about Alexis to the other woman, and the girls actually confirmed that I always defended Alexis to them in Costa Rica. I simply told my friend some things she obviously was not wanting to hear in a very non-confrontational, non-aggressive, “I care enough about you to tell you the truth” way. So for her to be playing “Poor me, Gretchen was so mean to me” is ridiculous. I’m not buying it, nor am I going to be the scapegoat.
Another question that keeps coming my way, from both the audience and even Alexis, has been why I decided to bring some things up on camera. I’m sorry did I miss something aren’t we on a “reality” show? The whole point of this show is to discuss issues at hand on camera, not off camera. We are expected to have an opinion about things and the other cast members — good or bad. I am not going to do things only off-camera because that would make me unauthentic. If Alexis specifically asked me not to share something on camera or told me something she said she wanted to keep something private, I would respect that and not discuss a personal thing that I knew she didn’t want discussed, but the Fox Five gig and the Costa Rica talk was not one of those topics. If you want everything to be discussed off camera then maybe you shouldn’t be on camera. Just a thought.
Bottom line, I care about Alexis and wish her well. I hope she continues to do what makes her happy, and I hope one day we can make amends. But right now there is just too much hurt and question in my mind if that friendship is what is best for me right now, so I have chosen to step back. I know a lot of you might not understand that right now, but remember there is a lot that is not captured on camera or always shown.
The next question I get a lot of is if Tamra and I are still friends — and the answer is yes. We talk all the time and have really enjoyed becoming real friends. No it is not fake!!! Even though at times it still seems very strange because of all the past issues, the fact of the matter is that when I forgive I forgive. It’s not a half-ass thing. I just move forward. Tonight’s moment between her and I is really is what created the space to truly just move on because Tamra finally gave me the validation that I knew I deserved way back when she was questioning me.
As you can see if caused me to get very emotional because I had been wanting that validation for some time now. Many of you keep bringing up all the things she did to me and Slade and I want you all to know that I am very aware of those things and those things left huge marks in my heart at the time. And even though they can’t be erased, they can be fixed and forgiven, and I believe this season has been the start of that. Tamra is in a much better place in her life, which has allowed her to really get to know Slade and I from a different point of view and she has taken many steps to repair the damage her actions might have caused us before. I appreciate that about her and value the friendship we have developed. I might not always agree with her delivery of things and I give her a hard time about some of the things she says, however what I like about her is that at least I always know where I stand with her. There is no guessing or trying to figure it out. She just gives it to me straight even if I don’t like it, and I like that in a friend because that is exactly how I am!
I am so happy for her and Eddie! Now all the rumors of me begging for an engagement ring and not being happy for Tamra can be put to rest, because as you see the season unfold you see that is the furthest thing from the truth. I did not even want to be married or engaged at that time. I am happy she is finally in a happy relationship and happy and confident in herself! I have always wanted that for her despite our past! I think every woman deserves that!
Next question is what’s my status with Vicki and how do I deal with someone that is such a hypocrite. Vicki and I don’t talk on a regular basis; we are just not that kind of friends. I unfortunately lost a lot of respect for her this season because of so many different things, but again I don’t wish her ill. Slade, myself, her and Brooks went to dinner and she apologized to Slade for all the things she said about him. I am very happy she did that. Bottom line with her is that I see she is happy with Brooks and that is all that should matter. However as a woman who has been taken advantage of by a man before, I will definitely be protective and concerned about a man who seems to be raising everyone’s red flags, including her own children.
Obviously I don’t like that Vicki is hypocritical with a lot of things in her life, and the rules do always seem to apply to everyone but herself. However unless it directly affects me I don’t really care how she chooses to life her life. After watching her this season, I actually don’t feel bad for her anymore because so many people around her point these issues out to her but she continues to defend her actions and turns a blind eye to it. I hope she repairs her relationship with her daughter and she is making the right decision with Brooks and not alienating her family because of it. I know Brianna and Tamra only wanted what was best for her.
Lastly, but certainly not least, everyone keeps asking if I think Heather was a good addition. The answer is most certainly YES! Heather has become a great friend and she and Terry has been so great to Slade and me. They have brought class, style, and luxury at its finest to the OC Housewives! I really enjoy their company, their children, and their no-non sense attitude. I am so glad my initial feelings about Heather changed as the season went on. I have come to adore and admire her. She has been a good friend to me, and is constantly concerned if I have the right friends around me (Heather you know what I am talking about. . .LOL) and I look forward to that friendship continuing to grow.
Slade and I are doing great, and as I said we definitely went through some growing pains but he has made some great strides in fixing some of the issues at hand and we are excited about the next stage of our life! BABIES! (hopefully) And the question everyone keeps asking about. . . marriage? Well I can tell you this, marriage for sure one day! He has his new radio show on playlist 92.7 that I talked about in my blog last week and he is doing so well right now, and I couldn’t be happier for him! I love this man with all my heart and soul, and I am a lucky girl to have a man that just adores me, supports me, and loves me for me!
It was sad to see Tamra and Vicki’s relationship come to such a drastic end. Nobody wants to see that happen between long time friends. However it is a testament to life and how the seasons are always changing. People come and go in our lives for a reason; I personally believe God has reasons for everything. Sometimes we don’t always understand it at that moment and it hurts and we ask why, but at some point you realize it maybe was for the best. Some people are meant to be friends forever while others just are a short period of time in your life. But each friendship/ partnership was there to teach us something. It’s up to each of us to realize the lesson taught to us and hopefully grow from that.
Well that sums up my thoughts on this season! I know the reunion is going to be full of surprises and friendships are tested again so be sure to tune in!”
I respect Gretchen for always being so honest with her feelings. I think she makes some great points, however I still think she could have been a better friend to Alexis. Maybe things will change next season! Thoughts on what Gretchen had to say?!
Category: Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, RHOC, Tamra Barney, Vicki Gunvalson
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Gretchen is full of crap…she’s hurt by things that Alexis did/said. She’s doesn’t think that frienship is right for her now. But she has forgiven Tamra who has done and said some pretty nasty things to her. There is no comparison with whatever Alexis said compared to what Tamra did to her. And now she feels VALIDATED because Tamra likes her and things she’s a good person. None of this makes sense. The bottom line is, Alexis is not one of the kool kids, you don’t want her friendship anymore.
Thank you. If a woman called my mans ex on national Tv to reveal how big of a bum he was, I would have climbed over that couch and tossed her ass up. Alexis was set up and instead of removing your friend from the environment she chimed in like a mean girl. But I’m sure if she did anything but that heather and tamra would have seen her as a target as well.
I agree with you roxie. Not only has tamra talked crap about slade, remember when sbe was accusing gretch of cheating on jeff with her ex boyfriend? I’m sorry but i could never forgive someone like that..i feel like gretchen was dying for tamras attention and backup since alexis doesnt really have much of a backbone to defend herself most of the time. To watch alexis defend gretch plenty of times and then gretch just leaving alexis to dry is just too sad. I dont see gretchan and tamras relationship lasting because tamra is a bitch and she cant help herself. I would be ashamed to call tamra “mom” and having her children grow up and see their mom doing disgusting things on tv..
I agree, Tamra did do and say some pretty nasty thing about Gret and Slad. Gretchen was dying for Tamra’s ‘loving” attention, she craved for it so much that she tweeted that if felt good to be validated , she also wrote about being validated by tamra in her blog. I guess whatever was happening with her and Tamra really affected her, so it’s better to be friends with Tamra…
I agree. Gretchen is a crappy person for what she did to Alexis. Tamara did soooo much shit to gretchen in the past including every negative thing in the press I am sure. and Greatchen can forgive that, but can’t forgive Alexis’s perceived pretentiousness? Perhaps Alexis was scared Gretchen was going to do EXACTLY what she did as soon as she became friends with Tamera and ditch her..which is why Alexis started questioning everything. I DO NOT like Gretchen at all. And Tamera is a vile excuse for a human being.
Amen Roxie! You got that EXACTLY spot on!!
Nice blog, interesting points & respectful… IMO…… She’s right about friendships for most have more than just one friend in our lives & each friend has nothing to do with the other for usually you care about/enjoy them for different reasons…. Again, nice blog!
Team Gretchen!!
I like Gretchen but this sounds like BS.
While I understand Gretchen wanting things to at least be smooth with Tamara the devil, I find her to be a fool to accept her so graciously. Tamara is not a nice person period. She proves it more and more each season. After every episode I just ask myself over again what is wrong with Eddie.
I cant stand Gretchen. Its will be funny once Tamra turns on her ,and makes Gretchen look like the idiot she is.Her purses look cheap, and i would never buy makeup from someone who leaves the house looking like a clown everyday
word! i detest Gretchen. Can’t wait to see their fallout ’cause y’all know there will be one! If anything they will try to cover up any fights because they know everyone hates that they’re friends now and expects them to fight again. Should be interesting.
Tamra will turn on Gretchen, too. She turns on everyone.
I think being a good friend does not involve joining in and approving conversations with Tamra, Heather and Terry when they trash talk Alexis. It certainly does not involve saying “Exacly” when Terry calls Alexis phony.
I think of how Alexis supported Gretchen at the Pussycat Dolls thing and how Gretchen repaid her friend and lose a lot of respect for Gretchen.
Yes, she can have two friends, but Alexis was not asking her to choose. She was asking her not to join in Tamra’s Alexis-bashing.
Very well said! Completely agree. My heart goes out to Alexis!
I think Tamra, Gretchen and Heather are mainly concerned about getting their fair share of TV time. Doesn’t matter at whose expense. They will be mean girls for the sake of fame/money. Can’t wait until Tamra turns on Gretchen, but Tamra may not do that since she will likely feel the threat coming from viewers calling for her bullying butt to be off of this show. If she’s on next season, I won’t be watching the show.
YUP! She wants to put this entirely on Alexis, but (most of us) aren’t stupid, we watch the show and see what happens. G wants to spin it and some people will go, YAH, Alexis is just jealous. Kinda like Tamra is doing to Vicky. Maybe they were jealous (natural) but what they’re both mad about is T & G’s actual BEHAVIOR towards them respectively. NOT the T&G friendship itself. T&G + Heather – MEAN GIRLS. They remind me of Shaunie, Tami and Evelyn
I can’t believe how insecure Vicki is! I can’t get over the conversation Vicki had with her Son-In-Law and how easily she can turn her back on her own, Her Own Daughter, for a man. Brooks clearly wanted Tamra out of Vicki’s life and who would have thought getting Tamra out of Vicki’s life is as simple as saying she gave an evil eye. Vicki is a street trash lunatic! Insecure, Violent and Rabid! Keep your man Vicki, I hope he empty’s your bank account for the price of filling your disgusting love tank. No Mother, NO MOTHER, should ever turn her back on her own children. Vicki is pathetic, Very Mean, Shallow, Immature, Spoiled and most of all, a cold hearted mother. Of all the children on all the housewive shows, Brianna is the most level headed and kindest young woman. Vicki should be ashamed of herself. Brianna is nothing, Nothing like her cold hearted, classless, drunken mother.
Oh yea, I think Gretchen is a blast! lol
I love when Tamra got up from the table to go after Vicki, Gretchen told Tamra, “Go, Go, Go!”
LMAO! Gretchen is the kind of person you can take anywhere and know that you’ll have a laughable time. She’s a happy person.
I do believe Tamra has changed, especially since she has left Simon. Let’s face it, Simon wasn’t very kind to Tamra and he did degrade his wife. I couldn’t believe the hurtful things he said to his own wife at the time. Tamra is clearly happy and it does shine through her. I think her leaving Simon and finding happiness in her life as well as within herself, has a lot to do with her true friendship with Gretchen.
Ditto!
you kidding me right? vicki is alot of things but so are the other so called “ladies”. everyone’s a hypocrite, backstabbing, flip flopper, jealous, liar and conniving bitch. i don’t buy one minute that tamra and gretchen are so concerned about vicki’s well being. she’s an easy target for them. tamra was the evil bitch doing horrible things to gretchen and slade. spreading rumors, disrespecting jeff, talking to slade and gretchen’s exes and talking to the most disgusting owner of a tabloid blog thedirty. all vicki said was slade was a dead beat dad and he was. so what if she’s apparently a hypocrite for saying that because now she’s dating someone that was a dead beat dad himself. does not give other grown women the right to use brooks to try to hurt vicki. if vicki wants to date a shady person that is her business and the other chicks are hypocrites themselves for getting involved in her personal business when they don’t like anyone getting into theirs.gretchen and tamra act like means girls and gretchen egging tamra on to attack vicki at the party was disgusting.
as for briana she is the only one that has the right to be concerned about her mom. that being said, don’t let briana’s so called “good girl” image fool you. she’s just like vicki herself. her and ryans relationship isn’t exactly innocent. the way briana has has treated her mom i feel was disrespectful. seems like briana was trying to be controlling with her mom. she needs to remember vicki is the momma and she has worked hard to provide her with amazing opportunities and raised her well.
I dont care how she justifies or what ” points” she makes. She’s a TURNCOAT and SELF SERVING ( even down to her present for TRAMPRA)
yup, like when Alexis was bawling in Costa Rica and all Gretchen could say was, Gosh, this is just too hard on ME. Nice. I was so disgusted. Her and Slade TRULY deserve each other
Alexis is a dumb arse. A pretentious twit.Her husband is a con and a scam artist. And controlling. Why would Gretch want any part of that?
LOL, she sure wanted it when no one on the show liked her. Now she’s got Tamra and Heather’s approval so BUH-BYE Alexis! Tams and HEath don’t like Alexis. Peace!
I AM TEAM GRETHEN IV’E ALWAYS LOVED HER AND I;M SO GLAD HER AND Tamra are friends,Vicky is a nut job always has been can not stand her especially when she goes into that stupid stare with her pie hole open.
Gretchen will turn her back on any friend. I also think it will be hilarious when Tamra turns her back on her.Lastly GRETCHEN STOP WITH THE PLASTIC SURGERY, YOU CANT MOVE YOUR LIPS!!!. she looks like a bad drag queen.
I RESPECT Gretchens Blog and fully understand her views! I believe she WAS a great friend to Alexis and did try her best ……Gretchen is RIGHT, when Alexis is confronted w her own issues abt her attitude she has a major obkection to it !!! HopefullY Alexis will understand that Gretchen was being a friend and being HONEST to her not a BACK STABBER! I would love to have a friend that was honest to Me even if it Hurts to the core then lettimg me continue on me acting a fool, or being snobby to others ….etc etc…True Friends can’t be smiles and laughter ALL the time.
Love Gretchens HONESTY and the person she is in life. I wish her the best and hope BABIES do come soon for her and Slade.