Real Housewives of Atlanta - RHOA

Kandi Gets Emotional; Says She Will Always Respect Her Mother At All Cost

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Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kandi has been getting called out several times regarding the relationship she has with her mother. You see Kandi’s mother Joyce has been very outspoken about Kandi’s fiancee Todd and has even spread rumors that Todd is having an affair on Kandi with her best friend Carmen! Kandi appeared on Watch What Happens Live earlier this week and dished on the drama with her mom explaining that she doesn’t care what people say about the relationship she has with her mother! Check it out below

Kandi told Andy, “First of all I don’t care what people feel when it comes to my relationship with my mother. Then on top of that I feel like she is my mother and I’m going to respect her at all costs. People don’t think that I tell her how I feel. I do tell her how I feel. I just don’t say it in an aggressive tone.”

Kandi also calls out Wendy Williams for going too far!

Do you think Kandi handles her mother well?

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Roxanne Jajo created All About The Real Housewives in November, 2011, to keep fans up to date with all their Real Housewives news. Roxanne resides in Detroit, Michigan and works full time as a recruiter in the HR department at Quicken Loans. In December 2014, Roxanne came out with her first fictional novel, ‘Shattered Depiction. Roxanne works on the website on a daily basis in order to bring fans of the show the most exciting and captivating stories of all of their favorite (and not so favorite) reality TV stars. Roxanne is very thankful to all the readers and commenters who have continued to support the website.

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  • Kandi’s mother reminds me of my mother and I have self-diagnosed my mother with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Being a daughter of and NPD sucks! My mom involved me in all of her fights, including fights with my Dad and always made me pick a side. Growing up, if I questioned anything that she did, she automatically thinks I am taking the other person’s side. She is never wrong or has had or will ever have any faults. I had no idea that my mom suffered from this until I got a fiance and she thought I chose him OVER her, just like Kandi’s situation. My mother and I would get into huge fights and I would start questioning why I have a relationship with her. I never realized how involved she was in my life until my fiance stood up. Every time my relationship went south with my mother, she blamed my fiance (now my husband). I am pregnant and my biggest fear is that she will talk crap about my husband and I to our kids, like Riley, and I NEVER want my kids to every hear that from their own Grandmother!

  • I don’t buy that Kandi does not want to be disrespectful to her mother. She knows there are ways to say something without being disrespectful. She just does not want to deal with the problem. Nobody likes (or should like) confrontation, but sometimes it is just necessary, and in this case it is. Her mom is being disrespectful to Kandi and it doesn’t seem to bother her and keep her from being hurtful. There is a nice way to say back off or else.

  • Mama Joyce seems to be getting more bitter and paranoid as time goes on. I remember when she was nice and the voice of reason. If she stops this wedding I don’t know what it will do to Kandi. So far I haven’t seen anything about Todd that is bad. He really seems to love Kandi. Maybe Mama sees Todd as an end to her gravy train. If he had been wealthy, in his own right, maybe her feelings would be different. Or she feels that Todd and Kandi’s assistant are stealing Kandi’s affection from her. Anyway, Kandi can only take so much before she breaks. Hopefully she gets through to her Mother before that happens!

    • I have a sense that if Todd was wealthy, Mama Joyce would find something else to pick apart. AJ had too many children and too many baby mommas. I can’t say I’d want that for my daughter, but if she was okay with it, that’s all that matters. Is Joyce that unhappy with what she instilled in her daughter and in the way she raised her? She has no faith in her daughter’s judgments?

      It’s a good thing I don’t get to do this blog thing that often. I’m getting really angry at this woman! LOL I’m spending too much time thinking about it AND commenting about it. Momma mia, forgive me for taking up so much space here. You all have such thought provoking things to say. I can’t help myself.

  • What you hate in others is only the truest reflection of what you hate within your own self.

    Joyce is an opportunist. She smiles joyfully while causing her daughter pain on television. She does it to be paid. To be famous. To be cause further discussion on the Wendy show. It is Melissa Gorga shady. Exposing family conflict for fame.

    Kandi is responsible for the demise of her relationship if it comes to that. Respect does not equate to being a doormat.

    • LOL! So uncanny! Your first sentence in your comment is what I was referring to my reply to the comment directly above.

      Joyce may enjoy the attention but I do believe she is who she is. Even without the cameras, Todd wouldn’t stand a chance.

      I wonder why her relationship with Reilly’s father didn’t work out. He completely dropped out of the picture. How sad to think Joyce may be partially responsible for Reilly not having a father in her life.

      Kandi seems so sensible. Possibly tops the list of all the Real Housewives, past and present. All, not just Atlanta. It’s quite interesting from a sociological standpoint. We don’t see much of the interaction between Kandi and Reilly, but I don’t recall any dysfunction between them. Actually, they seem to share a sweet, normal mother/daughter relationship. Reilly even mentioned something about Kandi standing up to her mother.

      Yes I like to snark about the housewives. (At least when I’m at my cousin’s and can have some fun on her computer when she’s out. Is that bad? LOL Don’t judge. It’s the only time I get a chance. It’s not like I use her name. LOL) As I was saying, I mostly watch because, from a sociological standpoint, it’s fascinating. Some are disturbing, involving family mostly. Most of the others are simply co-workers so there’s not much of an investment, at least a completely different one. They’re a dime a dozen so I find their actions (and reactions LOL) more amusing/intriguing than upsetting.

  • I don’t like that they asked if Kandi should “fight back” on wwhl. It was a bad choice of words, and they could have said “defend herself” or something like that. Then they tried to say Kandi’s mom wants Kandi’s money. That’s what probably made her upset. I understand where she is coming from; at some point, I want to take care of my mom, not because I have to, but because I WANT to.

    Anyway, Kandi really needs to set boundaries with her mom. She was acting a plum fool at the bridal shop. Who takes off their shoes and tries to fight someone in that setting? Then she had her sisters there to…back her up? They were acting like Carmen was the one who got in Kandi’s mom’s face.

    One thing I want to point out, is how unfair society seems to think that people should respect their elders, but older people can say and do as they please just because they are the “elder”. I am all for respecting your parents and older people, but it is completely unfair that they have no respect towards their children or younger people.

  • Mama Joyce has not liked any man that Kandi has been with. If you remember Mama Joyce didn’t like A.J. She hated him until he was killed.

    Mama Joyce acts as if the only thing a man sees in Kandy is the millions she has in the bank. Mama Joyce has enjoyed the benefits of the Kandi bank since Kandi made it as a member of XXscape. She isn’t about to let no one male or female get in that.

    Mama Joyce said herself people are jealous of what Kandi has and what a part. That let’s you know she has been in Kandi’s ear her entire life telling her that bogus type stuff her whole life. She has been trying to keep Kandi to herself and not close to any other person.

    No matter what Todd, Carmon, or anyone does Mama Joyce is going to have a problem. She does not want anyone closer than her in Kandi’s life. If she has to act the ass to get rid of them she will.

    • You know what they say? Some people who feel guilty about something believe everyone else is guilty of the same thing. Am I saying that right? Ya know what I mean? Joyce doesn’t want Kandi to share any of her money because she wants it all for them. Not that I need it but I would never let my kids support me. God forbid if they had it and I didn’t, anything they offered me, if i were to accept it, I would do so very humbly. I would never, ever in a million trillion years treat my kids money like my own or tell them what to do with it.

      I’m sorry, actually no, I’m not sorry, Joyce’s behavior is as bad as any Real Housewife, if not worse. I want my kids happiness over everything else in this world. I want them happy over my own happiness. Bullsheet that Joyce “just wants what’s best for Kandi.” Bullsheet!

      Joyce is despicable.


    Kandi you don’t have to “check” your mom! but there comes a point where you need to draw a line. Put yourself is Todd’s shoes how would you feel if his mom would disrespect you all with deragatory names and judge you because you have a sex toy line and assassinate your character. In a very respectful way you should speak with your about respecting your relationship. know because you don’t want your mother driving him away. Because is YOUR relationship not hers. it seems like when you do tell her things and she decides to “speak her mind” and you don’t like it you just ignore it but people around you won’t because it’s disrespectfu. You can love your mom, support her, and take care of her. But you should also draw a line because no one wants to deal with negative comments specially from your side of the family(mom) when she should be the main person backing you and Todd’s relationship. If she’s being negative about it it will cause other to throw digs because your mom doing this makes it open for other outsiders to judge your relationship. Goodluck and I hope you find a balance between your mom and relationship

    • I’d be out the door if my mother-in-law was anything close to that. She would have never become my mother-in-law.

      Kandi’s mom is not the type that will allow Kandi to check her. Kandi has two choices. Put up with it or have her over for holidays and birthdays and that’s it. Oh wait. Now that I think about it there’s a few more. One being call the men with the white jackets to come take her away.

  • the mother appeared to emotional to act out an emotional part–I think that was the real Joyce

    someone up stream said it best, the mother apparently things KB is unlovable

    how many men of KBs financial level are beating down her door to wife her up? none, because how many men are that rich? what do rich men look for, trophy wives, KB is about 10 feet too short to fit that category

    KB has had her money a long time compared to her peers who squandered their small fortunes, ex TLC. You have this great career and wake up 20 years later and people are holding a food drive so you won’t starve to death

    If isn’t Todd it’ll be somebody else Mother, but at least let KB be loved while a man is there…it is okay for Todd to catch a great woman, he deserves a good woman too.

    DID KB SAY SHE GAVE HER MOTHER HER FORMER HOUSE OR DID SHE SELL HER THE HOUSE? sounds like everyone wants to go through the drive through at the bank of KB

    • Ouch! You do realize some men like petite women don’t you? That’s not it. I’m sure Kandi could get a rich man if she wanted a rich man but she herself said that she didn’t want one and gave excellent reasons why not. What she said made sense. I forgot what she said, but I remember it made sense. LOL

      Many of the most gorgeous actresses are 5’4″ and under. Don’t sell them short. HA!

  • I feel whenever they have dinner together again, Reilly should be there. I’m also wondering why
    Reilly wasn’t there helping Kandi picking out a
    dress. I have a feeling the producers are on this.

    • Why? Do you really think Mama Joyce would behave if Reilly was there? She’s already tried to influence Reilly, saying bad things about Todd to her. Who does that? That’s lower than low.

      What do the producers have to do with Reilly not being there? Again, do you think they care how Reilly feels or what she’s subjected to? Reilly was probably in school. Thank the lord.

      I’m sure the producers were probably happier than a camel on Wednesday. I’m not saying the producers wouldn’t have done such a thing but I can imagine those who were there could have been there even without cameras. Now if it happens again, with Reilly there too, I’ll be suspicious.

  • Before, I address Ms. Joyce, this would be a response all of it’s own. I want to address Wendy Williams, who I actually like. HOWEVER, her words about Todd being an opportunist, which she CONSTANTLY repeating EVERY week MUST STOP!

    Wendy does not have a VALID reason for this opinion and it’s not based on facts. Now, I have no problem when people give their opinions or thoughts; however, in this case Wendy has cross the line and just torn it to pieces.

    First, you NEVER make comments about anyone man, until you know facts; and we know Wendy has NO facts, just her opinion based on NOTHING!

    Now, that Wendy has open the flood gates of opinion on Kandi’s man; this means, I can and will speak reckless of her husband Kevin and their relationship:

    1) Kevin cheated on Wendy; but, she decide to stay with him.

    2) He was involved in a nasty scandal, demanded sex with a former staffer on several occasions and created a hostile work environment.

    3) Over the years, Hunter has been involved in a number of other sexual scandals including a sex tape.

    Now, I don’t know about you, but, if I were Wendy, talking negative about someone husband/future husband would be the last subject on my list.

    Personal Note To Wendy: When your house in not order, please be quiet.

    • Your so right about Wendy! Kevin Hunter sounds like a prize. Ms. Wendy was a big crack head in the 1900’s. Now she’s Ms. Perfect, Please…..

    • You rock!

      Blech Wendy is horrible. I get it. It’s what she does. It’s her thang! If you ask me, she has a lot of nerve talking bullsheet she knows nothing about. Back it up Wendy. Facts!! We want facts! She’s treading on thin ice saying Todd’s opportunistic. That’s on the edge of defamation and slander. In reality, it is defamation and slanderous even if it isn’t quite lawsuit-worthy.

      I wouldn’t doubt it if she put the idea in Mama Joyce’s head to start. At the least she perpetuated it. How does she sleep? Look in the mirror? No way she has a moral compass.

  • What frustrates me about this is that Kandi shows more disrespect for her mom by not setting boundaries – as though she believes her mother is incapable of good behavior, rational thinking and maturity. Indulging Joyce’s immature, spoiled and “ratchet” behavior reveals that she does not think her mother can do better – or be better and that she believes she has to accept this wretched behavior because that’s the best Joyce can do. Not much respect there, in my opinion.

    Of course, Joyce is 10,000 miles out of line with her abusive, violent behavior. It makes me think she has some substance abuse problem – because that’s not the behavior of a person in control of their faculties. She looks and acts a fool – and her sisters are doing her no good supporting her stupidity.

    Sadly, Joyce does not seem to think very well of Kandi. She thinks Kandi is too dumb to protect her money even though Kandi was smart enough to make it in oh-so-many ways. She thinks Kandi is so unloveable that no man would love her for herself – which is so unmotherly that my heart hurts for Kandi having to hear that over and over and over. Of course, it’s projection. Joyce sees Kandi as her cash cow and knows that Kandi is too blinded by her love for Joyce to protect herself, so she thinks Kandi is equally blind in all relationships. There’s one person out to control Kandi and get Kandi’s money and that person’s name does not begin with T, but with a J.

    • I love this! Everything that you say is so true and I haven’t read a comment like it anywhere. Except I don’t think she’s abusing any substances even if it is hard to believe someone can act the way she is naturally or normally because there’s nothing normal about it.

      First, I get the impression that Kandi is totally responsible with her finances. There’s no indication that she throws her money around. It’s none of Mama Joyce’s business what Kandi does with her money or who she spends it on or how much. If my mother ever did that I’d tell her to butt out. Period.

      • True on your points. Joyce uses Kandi’s love of her against her (Kandi). The shame, to me, is that this woman does what she does while seeking out the camera. Ever notice how, when she’s in a moment, she looks at the camera, then says/does something stupid?! My mother-in-law is exactly like her! She tried to emasculate me until I banned her from our home.
        BUT….kudos to Mr. Todd for his extreme cool whilst under duress. A lot of broth as wouldn’t handle it with such grace. Represent! Roo!

  • Kandi does not have to cut her mom off or be disrespectful, but she does NOT need to enable her mother’s poor treatment of her loved ones. That is NOT okay.I would be resentful if I were Todd or Carmon. Her mother’s “love” will ruin her chance of living a whole life as well as good relationships. If her mother cared, she would back off and focus on her relationship with Kandi and stop being a pit bull.

    • How could anything Kandi says to her mother be disrespectful considering the way her mother is acting? I mean think about it. You treat people the way you want to be treated. There’s really not much Kandi could say that would match the disrespectfulness of her mama’s.

  • Kandi needs to stop with the crocodile tears. If she doesn’t like what the viewers have to say about the relationship she has with her mother then one or both of them need to get off reality TV. Playing the victim is not cute. I have no sympathy for these people that put their lives up for public consumption and then whine when the viewers turn on them.

    • Especially at such bad behavior. This isn’t really a gray area. She can’t expect people to not react. It seems her fans care about her more than her own mother does. Yep, I said it. Not my fault it seems that way. If you read this Mama Joyce, gnaw on that for a while. No, you’d probably get mad at Kandi instead.

      The woman is warped.

  • Joyce ass pisses me off! Her & her sisters are so worried about Kandi’s money it’s a damn shame! THEY are the ones living, eating, and sleeping off of Kandi. Just as Carmon said, Joyce, “You are They!” I dislike that Woman

  • Kandi doesn’t get that no one is requesting that she disrespect her Mom….what people are saying is that she has to set boundaries for her Mom….Kandi knows the things her mom says and does is not right….all she had to say is Mom….I will no longer accept your actions towards my man and friends….Riley even told her that she needed to get this right….

    Todd really is a good person because there aren’t a lot of men who would sit back and let their gf’s mom disrespect them in the house they reside….

    • Todd is smart by not playing into Mama Joyce’s hands. She wants Todd to react and force Kandi to choose. Kandi is wrong for not defending Todd as it is. It would be really hard to see Todd stand up for himself and Kandi defend her mother.

      I don’t see Kandi and Todd’s relationship lasting. Kandi’s last relationship with AJ ended too and something tells me her mother’s treatment of him played a big part, maybe the only part. This is terrible, but it’s better that they split before he lost his life in that bar fight. Does anyone else doubt that Mama Joyce would have been relieved? I don’t. That’s how sick that woman is.

  • Sorry Kandi, love you but you’re wrong. Your mother is abusing you and those around you and is trying to control your life. It’s not healthy. You’re not 15 years old , you’re a grown woman. You need to put up clear boundaries or your mother will alienate everyone around you.

  • Good for Kandi!

    Not sure why her mother is being filmed/edited to be so nasty towards Todd, but it really is Kandi’s call how she wants to respond.

    Kandi has known her mom all her life and familiar with her way of expressing her views.

    No man is 100% perfect. Mama Joyce just wants to make sure he is faithful and not in it for the money. Kandi understands that and will protect herself.

    I really hope their mom/daughter relationship will survive this. I lost my mom a few years in my 30s and I really wish I could still here her advice right/wrong now. It always came from her experiences only with the intent of my best interests. Sometimes I responded disrespectfully and I wish I could take those comments back.

    Again good for you Kandi in treating your mom with all of your respect especially with the cameras rolling.

    • Kandi as always been my girl, I really feel sorry for her. She has been put in a tough situation here. Joyce and her sisters are way out of line and it’s a shame they have put Kandi in the middle like this. I understand where Kandi is coming from, it’s hard to tell your Mama to butt out but on the other hand Kandi loves Todd and needs to tell Joyce to lighten up on him. I hope Kandi is in a better place at this time.

    • The reason Kandi’s mother is being filmed being so nasty is because she is being nasty, and not just towards Todd. This isn’t a case of tricky editing.

      I also disagree with Mama’s intent. Mama Joyce is going far beyond making sure Todd is faithful and not in it for money. It’s not her job to test him anyway. Mama Joyce is trying to chase Todd away.

      It’s not the mother daughter relationship you have to worry about surviving. It’s Kandi’s relationships with anyone else outside the family that gets close to her. Mama Joyce’s actions are not normal and it’s definitely not in Kandi’s best interest. I’m shocked anyone could defend Mama Joyce.

      I’m sorry you lost your mom at a relatively young age. I’m not looking forward to that day myself. But we have a mutually respectful relationship. If my mom behaved like Kandi’s mom, she wouldn’t be in my life much. Mama Joyce is showing that Kandi’s money is more important to her than her happiness.

    • Yes there is JD. When Kandi says she does stand up to her mother, I think that’s bullsheet! Mama Joyce was more than disrespectful to Todd and Carmen (and Kandi too). Using her grandchild is sick.

      Mama Joyce is mad at Kandi for something someone else said on WWHL the week before. She’s not talking to Kandi because of it. It pains me to say it, but she’s not showing that she loves Kandi in the least.

  • she does CARE what folks think, and she knows they are speaking the truth, the meddling momma needs to GO…Listen to Riley girl, she makes sense than most folks.

    • She’s worried about people using her daughter Kandi for her money … While living ina home Kandi GAVE her. That irks me.

      • Maybe not but it goes far beyond that. Mama Joyce wants to be the only important person in Kandi’s life and doesn’t want to share Kandi or Kandi’s money.

        • Okay let me try again (I’m having a bad morning) – Maybe mama Joyce IS worried about people using Kandi but it goes farther than that. I’ve got to shake the dust out of my brain. It’s been a while.

        • she is acting like a man that beats you. Don’t like your friends or family, so all you have is him.. How awful to break up her 25 year friendship with Carmen too Very sick behavior

  • Mama Joyce acted like such a fool at the wedding dress fitting (e.g., pulling off her shoe to hit someone with it) and at the dinner (e.g., singing at Todd) that I have no respect for her. I think I may hate her actually. She’s an embarrassment.

    Also, I was really annoyed when her sister said (paraphrasing), “Carmon got up and came at Joyce as if she was going to hit her, I’m not going to let her attack Joyce.” What a damn lie — Carmon sat cool as a cucumber on the couch the whole time Joyce was leaping up and berating her.

    • It’s a shame Mama Joyce has the aunts fooled too. I can only imagine the lies she told them so they’d take her side. But you’re right. Their apparently all a bunch of liars. Carmen just sat there. Did she get up at all? I don’t think she did. Not until she left the room. Carmen shouldn’t have engaged them at all. She should have walked away from them straight away.

      I don’t even know what to say about Kandi. To get respect someone has to earn it, mother or not. Kandi’s mother is treating her like a bank account that she’s afraid of losing, not a daughter that she loves. If my mother ever acted like that, I’d have a limited relationship with her. Mama Joyce makes me appreciate my mother all the more.

    • You might be right, but I don’t think it’s fake. Maybe a bit over the top and exaggerated, but I think this is really how Mama Joyce feels.

      • Unfortunately I think you’re wrong. Kandi’s emotions came across as very real and why would she be that upset if it was just a set up? Besides that, I didn’t think it looked set up at all. If they were acting, they all deserve Emmys.

        • I agree, there is no way this is fake. None of these people are actresses. Kandi is crying on WWHL, you can tell this is the way Mama Joyce has acted about Kandi’s men That is why Kandi has never married. This is Kandi’s fault that she don’t put her mom in her place. She may have to cut her off temporarily just to let her know she means business, but Kandi doesn’t have the chutzpah

    • Hay someone needs to tell Kandi, that her mamma is not going to be sleeping with her and taking care of her, If Kandi, keeps this up she is going to need her toys to take care of her needs b/c her mamma cannot and Todd want be around.
      Mamma Joyce is acting like she is going to loss her free meal ticket.